Clown Shames Mother Who Won’t Allow Son To Get Butterfly Face Paint But Instead Asks For Skull And Crossbones

Sep 09, 2021 by apost team

Whether we realize it or not, there are many gender stereotypes in our society that can be harmful. One example is only allowing young boys to appreciate and value things that are considered masculine, and in turn, shaming their interest in anything considered to be feminine. This is what a party clown noticed one day in 2017 when she was painting children’s faces.

Sandy, the clown, posted the story of her exchange with a mother on Twitter after the mom shamed her son for wanting a butterfly painted on his face. The mother claimed he could only have something for boys and demanded Sandy paint a skull and crossbones instead. Even when Sandy offered a small butterfly in addition to the skull the mother was adamant.

At one point during the conversation, the mom asked the boy’s father if he wanted the boy to get a butterfly and the dad responded “no.” Sandy pointed out that this shamed the boy even further. After that, Sandy finished the skull and crossbones and the family went on their way. Right away, Sandy knew she had to tell people what had happened.

Sandy posted the story online to show others the way that a parent’s behavior can affect a child as they get older. She said she is worried that enforcing gender norms in this way could have a negative impact on the way young boys see women. If they are told feminine things are shameful, they may unconsciously grow up to disrespect women and what they enjoy. Read on to hear more of what Sandy experienced from this stubborn mother. 

Sandy started off her story on Twitter by writing, “Hey everyone I'm a clown and I just got back from face painting at a picnic and here's my take on male violence in America: It starts young. And it’s more than just letting boys play with guns, it’s how we shame them for feeling anything that isn’t anger.”

Even though the boy knew exactly what he wanted, the mom said no. The clown continued, “I really tried you guys, but this woman was so scared of her son wanting a butterfly she made me paint a skull and crossbones on his cheek.”

Sandy wasn’t ready to give up, so she asked the boy again if he wanted a butterfly. However, the mother still would not allow it. Sandy wrote, “When I finished the skull I said to the kiddo ‘You want a little blue butterfly too?’ He nods. Mom interrupts, ‘You didn’t ask me.’” 

Sandy added, “I’m sorry that he was shamed for wanting to share in the joy that is the miracle and wonder of nature … When a boy wants to enjoy something for its beauty, they are told it’s not for them. Not in this house. Not in this family.” 

Even though the discussion started over face painting, the subject is serious. “We are teaching them that anger and violence are the only things they are allowed to experience. That to value beauty and elegance is shameful,” explained Sandy.

At the end of her story, Sandy wrote, “Epilogue: the mom complained to my boss.”

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What do you think about this situation? Was the mother wrong for not allowing her son to get a butterfly painted on his face? Let us know and pass this on to your friends and family.