Bride’s Parents Refuse To Attend Child-Free Wedding After She Wouldn’t Make Exception For Her “Rainbow Baby” Nephew

Sep 23, 2021 by apost team

Weddings are a time for joy and celebration, but sometimes they can be overshadowed by family drama, especially when you come from a large family. Even small weddings come with their fair share of drama that cannot be foreseen, so it is natural that brides can become stressed by everything, from planning to the execution of their dream wedding. 

Many brides decide early on that the best way to minimize stress and make their day better is by limiting the guest list. More recently, childfree weddings have become quite popular. A childfree wedding affords all the adults to have more fun without worrying about whether their child is doing okay. Moreover, the celebration is also not interrupted by children who can be noisy and get in the way of the service sometimes. 

However, not everyone who is invited to a wedding likes the childfree aspect. Along with finding a babysitter they can trust, parents can also feel worried about leaving their child behind. However, there is a general respect for what the bride wants on her day.

Unfortunately for one bride-to-be, a major fight erupted in her family when they found out that she wanted to keep her wedding child free. The original posted (OP) explained that her brother wanted to be the exception to the rule, and when the OP refused to allow him to bring his child, he lashed out at her and brought everyone on the bride's side of the family to his side. This led to a major falling out between everyone, leading to the bride questioning her choice. 

In her post, the bride wrote, "Hi. I (f, 33) am getting married come october to my fiance Derek. Wedding planning went okay but as soon as we started sending out invitations the problems began coming our way. Thing is Derek and I decided the wedding would be childfree, it wasn't out the blue and this possibility was there."

She continued, "I have a 42-yrs-old brother Paul who's married but he and his wife suffered from several miscarriages and faild pregnancies during their marriage. They finally were blessed with a son that everyone calls a miracle and a rainbow baby." 

However, this has led to the parents essentially spoiling the child, "My nephew is 4-yrs-old and everyone salutes him and treat him as a king and also turn blind eye to any misbehaviors he has which caused him to become loud, distructive, out of control and punish-less." 

Her brother refused to agree that the OP's rules of a childfree wedding would apply to him, however. "When Paul recieved the invitation and found out out kids weren't included he and mom lost it and decided on an urgent meeting with me and Derek. Paul said "my son is an exception, right?" I said no and this rule is to be followed by everyone." 

Unfortunately, this did not sit well with Paul, "He and mom went on about how he's a miracle since he's their rainbow baby/grandbaby then Paul said he had no problem with my wedding being child free but expects me to make an exception for his son. He explicitly said " you can have your "child free wedding" but you're gonna have to make an exception for my son and you know why."

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When the OP stood her ground, "Paul was offended and said if his son isn't invited then he won't come and gave us an ultimatum to drop out if we don't edit his invitation." 

This quickly got out of hand, and the OP said "My parents said if Paul won't come they won't come either which devastated me a lot and caused me to break down." This led to even more people reacting to the situation, "This morning my aunt and uncle dropped out as well as my other uncle last week. Paul told everyone and they're supporting him and won't come unless I make an exception for my nephew but that will upset my guests and they'll call me hypocrite. My family is divided saying I'm ruining my own wedding basically saying this is all on me." 

When the bride asked if she was wrong for standing her ground, most people had her back. The top comment stated, "you are not the one dying on this hill. Your brother is, and he's involving the rest of the family. If your family cares more about whether a 4 year old gets to go to a wedding and/or reception (which, as the only child there, won't be any fun for him) than they do about celebrating you and your new husband, then that will make the decision about which family to spend the holidays with that much easier."

Most people agreed that it was the OP's brother's behavior that was problematic and that she had done nothing wrong. 

Who do you think was at fault in this situation? Tell us your thoughts, and be sure to pass this on to your friends to see what they think as well.