Bride-To-Be Feels Helpless After Father Offers To Pay For Wedding If He Can Choose Date

Nov 16, 2021 by apost team

Weddings are never easy to manage, even if you have a lot of the time and money to plan one. Even the most organized person understands that not everything will go according to plan as the wedding draws closer. In many cases, it is, unfortunately, difficulties with friends and family that cause the most stress. From bridesmaids that drop out to family members who come with unreasonable demands, there are many ways that a wedding can lead to a person completely stressed. 

For some people, the toll can get even higher if they are trying to please their family while also planning their wedding. Even though the wedding should be all about the couple, some parents go overboard in their own demands of how they want their child's wedding. This is what happened to one bride-to-be on Reddit, who turned to the social media site for advice on how to proceed with her dilemma. 

The woman, who is the original poster (OP), had agreed to let her parents take some of the reigns to her wedding after they offered to pay for it, but this became a point of major conflict for everyone involved when the OP's father demanded that they have their wedding on September 11, 2021. 

September 11 will remain a day of tragedy for Americans after the harrowing events of September 11, 2001, and the OP did not want to celebrate her wedding on what would have been the 20th anniversary of the event. This was especially important for her because her fiance worked on a military base. 

In her post, the OP described her situation, "My Fiance and I just got engaged a few weeks ago and we should be in bliss about planning and making our dream wedding. We were going to have it in the big city where most of our friends live and generally 95% of my mother's family would have to travel from out of state anyways. This big city has an airport and they wouldn't have to worry about renting a car or having other family members drive 1.5 hour to pick them up." 

This seemed like a great plan up until her parents offered to pay for the OP's wedding, which would mean that their plans had to change. "I entertained the idea of changing everything because all they said was it had to be in my super rural hometown, my dad had to walk me down the aisle, and trumpets had to play. Easy enough, right?" the OP wrote. 

The bride-to-be also added, "I told them we aren't going to play games or lie or hide the truth. If anything else is mandatory, then it needs to be said. I don't want to deal with additional drama on top of trying to plan this wedding during graduate school." 

"So I start my clinical rotations in 2021 and I finally got the schedule and can pick a date. September 18th. I was so excited," the OP explained, but this date did not seem to work out: "I schedule with Venue A and sure enough I got the date I wanted. I'm so happy and call up the parents just to find out they have beef with the management at Venue A and that I need to cancel." 

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As if having her favorite venue canceled wasn't enough, "Then without my permission, my dad went ahead to schedule at Venue B, which is pretty trashy. He tells me over the phone September 11th okay?"

About the date, the OP wrote, "I don't think it needs to be explained in great detail that the 20th anniversary of 9/11 will happen on 9/11/2021. Also, my fiance works on a military base and will be given a hard time about this." She asked Reddit users if she was wrong for not wanting a wedding on that date, and found a lot of support. 

The OP also added an update after the post, where she wrote that her parents had begun to cause her even more stress, "Within the same phone call, she tells me they have paid over $100k in my education and they aren't an open checkbook." This, along with support from Reddit users, led the OP to make a decision: "As for what's going on now, I told my mom no more talk about the wedding. I'm finishing school and not booking ANYTHING until I'm done. Thank you for the helpful words and advice." 

One of the commenters advised the OP, "This is the first of a long list of demands they will make because they are paying for the wedding. OP tell your parents no thanks on them paying for your wedding. It will be better for you in the long run if you pay for it yourselves. Even if that means waiting until 2022."  

Do you think the bride was right to take on her wedding planning and expenses all by herself? Tell us your thoughts, and be sure to ask your friends what they think as well.