Bride Asks Whether She's At Fault For Not Wanting Her Fiance's Grandmother At Wedding

Aug 20, 2021 by apost team

Planning a wedding can be very stressful, especially when it comes to deciding who to invite. Some people choose to have everyone attend both the ceremony and reception, while others will split up the invitations. One bride is seeking advice after she got in an argument with her fiance because she does not want his 98-year-old grandmother to attend their wedding reception.

In an August 2021 post on Reddit, the bride-to-be explained that she wants her reception to be a large party for adults, and so they have decided to have a child-free wedding. The bride said that for this same reason she does not think her fiance’s elderly grandmother should attend the event. She made it clear that the ceremony was fine, but his grandmother could not be invited to the reception. 

The woman explained that she wanted to get drunk and dance with her friends, but if the groom’s grandmother was there, she would be out of place, and they would end up needing to care for her. Both the grandmother and the groom have expressed that this would not be the case, but the bride is adamant.

Now, the groom and his grandmother are very angry, and the bride is left wondering if she made a mistake. She went on to Reddit to ask others if she was in the wrong for not inviting the grandmother to her wedding reception, and nearly 2,500 people responded. Keep reading to hear what the bride had to say for herself and if the commenters agreed with her.

The woman and her husband-to-be initially agreed on the guest list until the bride revealed she didn’t want his grandmother at the reception. In her post on Reddit, the bride wrote, “We've agreed to not have kids at our wedding, as we want the reception to be a huge party for your adult friends and family with dancing, loud music and an open bar. However, for precisely the same reasons that we don't want kids there, I don't want his elderly grandmother at our wedding either.”

She elaborated, “I said she can come to the ceremony but not the reception. It will be extremely loud and I want it to be a party atmosphere, and she will be extremely out of place. For context, none of my grandparents are still alive, and he still has his last living grandmother.”

The bride thinks she is being fair by offering the grandmother a place at the ceremony instead. “This has caused a huge fight since she said she has always dreamed about being at her grandson's wedding (he is her oldest grandchild and she probably won't make it to the next family wedding). Which is why I said that she's more than welcome at the ceremony, but she will just be too out of place at the reception,” the woman wrote.

The groom thinks that his grandmother would be perfectly fine with the party-like atmosphere. “She and he both insist that she will be fine and wants to go to the party. But I just know it will inevitably lead to us dealing with her and taking care of her, and I just want to get drunk and let loose with my friends,” the bride expressed.

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After the bride told the groom how she felt, both he and his grandmother were furious. The bride wrote, “She's now really upset and won't talk to me, and my fiance is also angry. I think I am within my right to make this request, I am the bride after all.”

Thousands of people stopped to leave their comments and reactions on the post. One commenter wrote:

“You’re hearing the love of your life say this is important. You’re hearing someone really important to your partner say this is important. And you’re putting getting drunk ahead of that? She’s been a grown adult longer than you’ve been alive — I’m pretty sure she can handle any tiredness and noise as she wishes. If I was your partner I’d be noticing the red flags.”

Another Redditor said, “I hope you realize you are not ready to be married. You should cancel the ceremony, cut your fiancé free of you, and spend a few more years getting your fill of the party scene because you are not yet capable of prioritizing the needs and wishes of others over your own desires.”

Some other people tried to see the bride’s side of the argument. One person asked, “Is that not what the bachelorette party is for?” To which another person responded: “Well that's usually girls only isn't it? The bride may want to party with her husband-to-be. Can't fault her for that. But, there are plenty of other opportunities to get drunk with your husband and friends. And even at the wedding, you can still do that.”

What do you think about this bride’s request? Is she being unfair? Let us know your opinion and pass this along to your friends and family.