Bride Asks Stepdaughter To Cut Her Hair For The Wedding, Is Livid When Stepdaughter Denies Request

Aug 27, 2021 by apost team

It's not always easy being the child of a parent who has found a new partner. Although some step-parents take great care not to upset the existing children of their new partner, others are less mindful about the many emotions such children might feel. When this happens, conflict is sure to arise. Especially older children and teens are likely to clash with a new partner that doesn't care to fit into the already established family life.

One teenager in such a situation recently took to Reddit in August 2021. In her long post, she explained to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" subreddit that she was 15 years old and her mother had sadly passed away two years prior because of cancer. It's always hard to lose a parent so young. The death of a mother or father always leaves a hole in the surviving family, but younger children and teens can feel it especially keenly. Many things change and the family has to find a new rhythm to life. 

As it happens, the teen explained that her father had started dating again eight months after her mother's passing. She made it clear that she didn't forbid her father from dating, but she also mentioned she felt it was too soon. However, her father and his new girlfriend, 28 years old, were ready to tie the knot and had marriage on their minds.
Her step-mother-to-be had approached the teen prior to the wedding with an unusual demand. She was to cut her long, blonde hair or be excluded from the wedding. The teenager denied the request but then asked for reassurance from the online community as she was not sure she had reacted correctly.

In her post, the unnamed teenager explained that she had not tried to come between her father and his new girlfriend, whom she called Alice, before the wedding:

"I try to be as polite as I can whenever she's around or starts a conversation with me. Dad never forced me to have a relationship with her and I can also see that she's not interested in having one."

However, it is clear from her post that she does not feel comfortable around the older woman. She goes on to describe how Alice approached her after the engagement was announced. She explained that she had a clear vision of how her wedding was to go in order to be "perfect" and that her new step-daughter would have to do something for this to work out.

"I said sure and asked her what I need to do. She said, "first, I want you to cut your hair short; second, you can't wear heels and lastly, only wear light make up and no fake lashes. Okay?"

The teenager had no problem adhering to the second and third rules and said as much. However, she was not okay with cutting her long hair. She inherited her long, blonde and wavy hair from her mom and had grown it out over the years with the help and care of her late mother. It reminded her of the times they shared and made her happy since she takes after her mother in looks. She made it clear that she would not be cutting her hair. She also mentioned that she was not part of the bridal party, just a normal guest at the wedding, so she saw no special reason to do this.

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The step-mother-to-be did not take the rejection well. After calling the teen a "selfish brat" and accusing her of wanting to upstage the bride, she complained to the teenager's father - who then just told his daughter exasperatedly "to just cut her hair."

The teenager, unsure whether her reaction was alright, asked her fellow Reddit users for comments and opinions. And those opinions were very clear and unanimous.

"You have not put your father in a situation, rather he and Alice have put you in one. This is not a valid request to make of anyone, and your father's bride to be had no room to ask it," one commentator wrote.

Others commented on the fact that she had not even been included in the bridal party of her father's wedding: "And what kind of parent has a wedding where their kid/step-kid isn't in the bridal party?"

One of the most common sentiments was that a woman who felt threatened by the 15-year-old daughter of her groom had most likely deeper troubles and insecurities. As one commentator wrote:

"NTA...Your body, your choice. If Alice is worried about being upstaged by a 15 year old girl, she's got bigger issues than hair style."

Many of the fellow Reddit users also called the father out on his behavior, stating that he should never have asked his daughter to cut her hair for the wedding. One of the top comments on the post put it crudely into perspective:

"Your dad is only telling you to acquiesce to cut your hair because Alice already successfully cut off his balls."

What do you think about this bride's demands? Would you have given in or demanded the same? Tell us what you think and pass this along to friends and family to find out what they think.