Bride Asks If She Was In The Wrong For Asking Her Pregnant Bridesmaid To Stop Holding Her Belly In Photographs

Jun 09, 2021 by apost team

While it’s a cliche that the most important day of your life is your wedding, there’s some truth to the time-worn saying. For many, it’s a day that symbolizes a new chapter in their lives, signaling the beginning of true adulthood and a commitment to stay with someone for the rest of their life. It’s therefore no wonder why couples put in months, if not years, of effort into planning the perfect wedding. With that said, some couples can go a bit over the top, which is why words like “bridezilla” — a woman who obsessively plans a wedding to a fault — exist.

Sometimes, however, a bride's actions can cause a debate as to whether her demands really are in the "bridezilla" territory, or if a bride may actually be right about a controversial topic.  One such topic came up recently on a post on the subreddit "AITA." A woman posed a question to Redditors about her bridesmaid and was met with a few differing views. 

The main problem was a pregnant bridesmaid kept touching her belly, and this had annoyed the bride as she was looking for photographs to be about her day. She believed that the bridesmaid should not call attention to her pregnancy when the photos were supposed to be for the wedding party only. 

While a majority of Redditors believed that the bride was in the right, it was not unanimously agreed upon. Some people also brought up the other side of this story and asked the bride why she was feeling so threatened by a pregnant woman just being herself. 

In her post on the subreddit "AITA," an unnamed woman outlined her dilemma and said, "I got married three weeks ago and one of my bridesmaids is about 7 months pregnant (let's call her Kate). Kate's belly was easily accommodated into the dress style because it had quite a flowy skirt with a fitted bust."

She continued, "Between the ceremony and reception, we had a few hours worth of professional photos taken with just the wedding party. In one of the first photos I noticed Kate was deliberately holding her belly so it was really obvious in the fabric of her dress (think basically every maternity shoot photo ever taken)."

This pose was the biggest problem for the bride, as she said, "I asked her to stop holding her hands to show off her belly and to just pose like everyone else. I had to remind her a few more times before we'd finished taking the wedding party photos." 

While things went smoothly enough after this at the wedding, the bride went on to say that things became clear after her honeymoon. She elaborated, "(W)hen I got back I hadn't heard from Kate, despite texting her, and we usually talk every couple of days. I felt she was avoiding me."

She prodded further about this and said, "Today another of my bridesmaids confirmed that Kate is pissed at me because I was 'trying to make her look fat, not pregnant' during the photos. Now I'm annoyed because I paid a lot of money for a wedding photo shoot, not maternity pics." 

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She then posed the question to other Redditors and asked if she was in the wrong for her request while taking photos. Most people who responded to her said that there was nothing wrong with asking the bridesmaid not to call attention to her pregnancy.

One person commented, "(T)hose are your wedding photos, and there is absolutely no reason someone should be deliberately showing off their 'baby bump' to take away from the bride in a photo. If she didn't feel comfortable in the dress, she could have opted out of being in the wedding. But making the photoshoot about herself and demonstrating her pregnant belly is not acceptable in a wedding photo."

However, there were other comments that wondered if the bride was being too demanding as well. One person pointed out, "(T)he friend wasn’t doing anything besides holding her belly, which is actually a normal standing position for pregnant people, not something reserved for maternity photography. Is it attention-seeking to be visibly pregnant at someone else’s wedding? Because it seems like the bride (and a lot of commenters) are treating this girl like she maliciously planned to take over the wedding by not hiding her pregnancy, which is insane to me."

An apost.com reader seemed to agree, commenting, "The things people choose to fuss about never ceases to amaze me."

One more person added that the bridesmaid may have been self-conscious or physically uncomfortable in the moment, and that's why she was holding her belly. "I agree that if you needed everyone to do the same pose, she should have followed suit, but don't assume that she was trying to make it all about her. She was probably just trying to make it through the photoshoot without crying." The commenter also said that "it sucks being pregnant."

Do you agree with what the bride thinks? Have you had an experience with bridesmaids that you consider negative? Tell us about it, and be sure to ask what your friends think about this story as well.