Bride Asks If It’s OK To Ban A Kid With ADHD From Her Wedding

Sep 01, 2021 by apost team

Weddings are usually one of the most special days in someone's life. For guests at weddings, it's a wonderful thing to witness two people share their love with their nearest and dearest, which makes it not only special for the bride and groom but for everyone included.

Because of how special the day is, it makes sense that the bride and groom want it to go just perfectly. However, that can create a lot of pressure and stress, and it's why there is a reputation for some brides to turn into monsters — known as "bridezillas" — as they plan their nuptials.

One recent story that was shared on Mumsnet shows just how far some brides are willing to go for the idea of their perfect wedding — and they'll stop at nothing to get it, even if it means being less than reasonable.

The bride in question posted to the internet forum asking for advice on a situation related to her upcoming wedding. After explaining that her nuptials would be very child-friendly since she and her husband love kids, she writes that she doesn't want a child that she doesn't know to come to the wedding. The catch? The kid has ADHD. 

The woman goes on to explain that it's the child of her cousin's new boyfriend — both of whom are coming to the wedding — yet she doesn't want the little girl to come. She points out that she only invited her cousin and a plus one, with her cousin asking if the child can come additionally. Nevertheless, the topic had the forum divided — let's see what people said.

The woman begins by saying that she and her husband "have stated quite clearly that [they] want all of [their] friends and family to bring their children along" to her April wedding next year. She explains:

"It's going to be a child friendly event, we love kids and are having lots of kids entertainment."

She goes on:

"However, my cousin has a relatively new boyfriend who I haven't met and he has a daughter around 8 or 9 who I also haven't met. Apparently the girl has ADHD and is not very well behaved. I'm also not that close to my cousin (only ever see her at family gatherings, we have no relationship outside of that, and it's about once a year!)"

The bride-to-be then speculates about why they want to invite the daughter:

"I sent her an invite for Cousin +1 but she now wants to bring this boyfriend AND his daughter, even though the daughter could easily stay home with her mum. She just wants to come for the holiday as I live quite far away and it will be a family holiday for her (they're renting an Air B&B with a pool etc)."

She adds that she feels "quite bad saying no" but that she doesn't want a kid there who she doesn't know and who "may be badly behaved." In realizing she is making assumptions about the young girl, she adds:

"I'm not anti-ADHD at all, in fact about 6 of the kids coming have ADHD/autism/special needs, but the point is we know them and have a relationship with them."

She ends her post by asking the forum members if she's being unreasonable to say no to her cousin.

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The comments section was divided, but many users slammed the woman for suggesting she did not want to invite the young child, especially when she's gone out of her way to admit her wedding will be kid-friendly in the first place.

One person stated, "To start with the way you speak about this child is horrible," before pointing out that it's actually very common for the bride and groom to not know everyone at their wedding, as colleagues and friends often bring their partners who they might not know. Furthermore, she says that if she didn't want people there that she doesn't know, why would she allow her cousin to bring a plus one in the first place?

Other users backed this up, explaining that just because it's a child she doesn't know it's not any different from an adult she doesn't know, so the bride needs to be consistent with her reasoning. 

But others agreed with the original poster, believing it was unfair that the cousin was asking for an extra guest spot. One person wrote:

"Honestly I don't think you are unreasonable here. You gave her a +1, not a +2. The fact that it's a child is irrelevant. Asking to bring another guest is the height of rudeness. Be firm and tell her that unfortunately you are at capacity for guests."

Meanwhile, others considered the cousin's new relationship and how that might play a role, with another user writing:

"This could end up being a long term relationship for your cousin, on the other hand it could be all over by the time of your wedding."

What do you think about this situation — is the bride being unreasonable for not wishing to invite the young girl? Let us know your thoughts and pass it on to your friends so they can weigh in too.