Bride Apologizes For Not Wanting Her Father To Give Her Away Because He's In A Wheelchair

May 25, 2022 by apost team

In a 2020 post on the Reddit subthread, AITA, one woman asked if she was wrong "for not wanting [her] dad to "walk" [her] down the aisle because he [was] in a wheelchair." The story began three years earlier when OP's father "was injured in a really bad hit and run car accident." The collision "broke just about every bone in his body, and left him paralysed from the waist down." OP said she hated having to see "him in pain." She admitted that despite having a "really good" relationship with her father, she went as far as "to avoid seeing him because it just {made] [her] uncomfortable."

She continued, explaining how she was now "getting married." OP relayed how she had "been with [her] fiancé for 4 years and he and [her] dad [got] on really well." In preparing for the wedding, the question of "who was going to give [OP] away came up in the family group chat." OP said she "kept silent after [she] realised [her] dad would be in a wheelchair."

OP explained how they had "always talked about [her father] giving [her] away." She'd dreamed of them "having a dance at [her] wedding," but now she felt he could no longer perform this duty. She admitted she didn't "want to be reminded of what could've been." So, she "messaged [her] mom privately and told her [she] want[ed] [her] uncle to walk [her] down the aisle," because as OP explained, they were "incredibly close." Mom, the family, and even Reddit flipped.  

OP's mother "naturally asked why." She then "told her [mother]" her reasons for wanting to sub in the uncle. As she explained it, her father "being in a wheelchair would add complications to the wedding." This meant that "the walkway would have to be widened to accommodate [him]." Moreover, OP's father "wouldn't be able to hold [her] arm or give [her] a proper hug," given he was in a wheelchair. This was not "what could've been" and not how OP envisioned her own wedding day.

Understandably, OP's mother "was outraged." She called her daughter "an ableist POS." The mother even went as far as to remove OP "from the group chat." Not entirely excommunicated, OP relayed that her aunt called her to say that her father was "absolutely devastated." Unable to garner another response from her own family, OP asked Reddit, "AITA?"

Many commenters said yes, you most definitely are. Several, who'd had parents who were similarly disabled, showed added disgust. One Redditor wrote, "My dad was also in a wheelchair for the last two years of his life. Like a GOOD DAUGHTER, I supported him the whole way. And what id do to have him give me away at my wedding." She continued, saying, "I think you'll really regret this and I feel horrible for your father. It's no easy seeing a family member become disabled but you shouldn't not want to see them because it's hard on you. It's harder on them especially without your support."

After this response, OP wrote an update. 

apost.com

In the update, OP expressed appreciation for the commenters that supported her while she was receiving hundreds of horrid messages. In closing, she said she was "going to call [her] dad tomorrow." OP then wrote a second update after the comments calling her TA didn't relent. She asked, "can people please stop messaging me such horrendous stuff?" OP clearly hadn't heard of the expression, "ask stupid questions, get stupid answers," and didn't foresee this level of response from her post.  

Meanwhile, commenters struggled to grapple with her story. One wrote, "I refuse to believe this is real." Another commented, "Please be a troll. Please. You are so awful and self-centered." A third reminded OP of the actual words in traditional wedding vows, writing, "do you take eachother both in sickness and in health." One simply typed, "Not real." The thread stretched on in bewilderment and disgust. 

Finally, OP wrote one last update. She said, "Not that I owe it to anyone but I thought I'd give you all an update. My boyfriend and I have decided to part ways and ive apologised to my dad." One commenter seemed to have seen this twist in OP's story coming. She wrote, "YTA. I knew right from the title." The Redditor continued, saying her father was also "wheelchair bound" and how she couldn't "IMAGINE the devastation he would feel if he didn't get to roll by [her] side down the aisle." Finally, she said, "Your fiancé better take a good hard look at what he's getting himself into with you." Apparently, he did. 

What do you think of OP's wedding plans or her attitude towards her father's condition? Do you think her father will accept her apology? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to friends, family, and fellow Reddit fans!