Biological Mother Proposes Names For Baby Twins, Adoptive Mom Says They Are 'Outdated'
Jan 20, 2022 by apost team
Becoming a parent is extremely exciting. Whether you have children through biological means or you choose to adopt, one of the most thrilling and meaningful moments of having a baby is getting to choose his or her name. It could be something unique, something that has been passed down for generations in your family or just something that you really like.
For one couple, they decided that they wanted to adopt. They knew a 15-year-old girl called G from a friend of a friend and were set to adopt her baby and consider an open adoption, meaning G would basically get to visit the baby whenever she wanted. Shortly afterward, the couple found out that they were actually having twins, one boy and one girl, and quickly began looking for names.
The couple settled on the names they wanted but were surprised to find out that G had picked out names, too, and really wanted the couple to use her names. However, the couple were not fans of her selected names, as they were pretty "outdated" and didn’t hold any meaningful significance to them.
This created a lot of tension between the couple, G and even G’s family, especially since G changed her mind about wanting to be as involved in the babies’ lives in the future. G even said she would look for another couple to adopt her baby. The mother then turned to Reddit in October 2021 to ask users for their advice on whose names she should use and what she should do moving forward.
In her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) explained that she and her husband were in the process of adopting a set of fraternal twins who were going to be born in January 2022. G, their mother, didn’t want to keep them. The couple have continued to be by her side through the pregnancy and are allowing her to visit the twins as often as she wants after they’re born and adopted.
“As soon as we found out about the baby, we began looking for names and when it was confirmed that it was going to be twins, a girl and a boy, we decided on the names Ellie and Evan,” OP said. “Last week however, we were informed that G had chosen names herself: Walter and Agnes.”
OP explained that G just thought the names “sounded cool,” but she and her husband felt they were outdated and didn’t like them.
“But even if the names were great, they are still our babies,” OP said, adding that they would have her and her husband’s surname, too. She also mentioned that G never said she wanted to visit them. Still, G and her family were not happy about their decision.
“G’s family is upset with us for not accepting their real names and is threatening to look for new parents,” OP said. “Her sister told us that they are just bluffing and hoping for us to back off.”
However, G later admitted that she still wants the couple to be her babies’ parents, and the couple began looking for a lawyer to have everything in writing, from the kids’ names to G’s visitation rights.
Trying To Compromise
About a week after writing her Reddit post, OP uploaded an update about the situation. “My husband and I sat down with G and talked to her for a long time,” she said. “We apologized to her, saying that if we wanted an open adoption, we needed to all work together.”
G explained that she picked the names as a way to say goodbye to what could have been, but it was clear that she still wanted to give her babies up for adoption. “She said she does not want to be a mother, but thinks that it’s best for the twins to know her and she will visit occasionally,” OP said. She explained that G would be introduced to the twins as their aunt, but G’s family would not be involved in their lives until the twins were old enough to make their own decisions.
OP explained that they all agreed to name the babies together. “We have decided on the names Alice Eleanor (Alice because it’s cute and classy, Eleanor to honor husband’s late sister) and Finn Alexander (Finn chosen by G because of a “Star Wars” character, Alexander because it was on both our top five names lists),” she said. “Their Korean names will be decided by a naming expert after their birth and we three will, again, choose the names together.”
The majority of Redditors were happy to know that the couple and the teenage girl were able to work together to pick out some great names for the twins and communicate their plans for the future ahead.For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) - istockphoto.com/FatCamera
What do you think about the names everyone settled on? Do you have any unique or meaningful names in your family? Let us know, and feel free to send this to your loved ones, too.