Being Strict With My Kids Is Difficult, But Here’s Why I Keep At It

Jan 22, 2019 by apost team

As a mom, the days are often long, but the years are short. In a single day, a mom of young kids might deal with multiple tantrums, stubborn behavior and more. Most moms do this without any thanks or even a break for themselves.

One mom has found a way to keep going and push through the difficult days, knowing that playing the long game takes a lot of patience.

Imagine a tired mom of a toddler and preschooler. She's always tired. She takes her kids to the park. After an hour, it's nap time for the little one. She braces herself for a fight, but is pleasantly surprised to hear an agreeable child saying, "Okay!" Small moments like these, when a child behaves, keep those moms going.

You probably know one of these moms. Maybe you are that mom. Raising polite, respectful and capable kids is hard work, but the end game is worth the effort.

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The truth is that parents with kind, respectful and well-mannered kids are tired. Perhaps not tired, but exhausted. Having happy and well-behaved kids is not a matter of luck. It is a matter of hard work. The daily grind of reminders, encouragement, consistency, and discipline takes a lot out of parents.

When kids are young, discipline is all about setting boundaries. Moms spend days and nights explaining rules, setting expectations, encouraging good behavior and correcting poor behavior. It gets exhausting. Daily conversations about what is acceptable and what is not take place every day.

In some cases, these conversations happen every hour. Many parents think that their kids are sick of the conversations. You are probably tired of these conversations, too! However, if you want your kids to grow into functional teenagers and adults instead of felons, you have to soldier on.

Kids have to have a big foundation. They are known for pushing limits from every angle. A mom might hear, "Can I have a piece of candy?" followed by "Can we stay longer?" and "Can I jump off the top bunk?" all within an hour.

You might feel like you are always saying, "No!" In a perfect world, that would be the end of the conversation. In reality, about half of those conversations end in whining, begging or tantrums. You have to reiterate that your word is the last word. Even if the kids don't like it, you answer them with a reason. End of discussion.

Every parent has trying times with their kids. You might think that your child is the only one who misbehaves, doesn't listen and throws embarrassing tantrums in public. You might be convinced that your child hates you and does it on purpose.

You could even find yourself scouring the child psychology section of books at the book store or library. In a memorable conversation with her child's doctor, one mom was told, "Parenting is a war." This was quite eye-opening.

The doctor went on to explain that parents often get hung up on one battle. Getting battle-weary is exhausting. Parents have to understand that they will lose some of the battles, but the goal is to win the war. It is okay to concede some battles.

Let your kid wear pajamas to the grocery store. Let her eat only orange foods for a week. Know that these things won't hurt your child. Give yourself a break and focus on more important battles. You will have opportunities to try again.

There are times to stick with your plan and times to concede. For example, when your child is whining on the airplane and asking for cookies, just give them the cookies. Explain that this is a special, rare event, and you will do the cookies this one time. The overall strategy is one to hold onto. Throw your pride out, dust yourself off and try again.

As your kids get a little older, remind yourself that discipline and rules are out of love. Strict parenting is not fun for anyone, but to always give in would be to create entitled adults.

Everyone knows that entitled adults are much worse and harder to fix than spoiled kids. Keep the end game in mind. Follow through on the punishment, even if it ruins your plans for the day. Maybe you have to take away electronics, which causes you to have to make a big, messy art project with your kids.

Delivering the promised consequences shows your kids that you mean what you say. Your actions will go a long way in making a mark on your kids and setting the stage for their future behavior.

Remember that you are the adult. Say it to yourself a few times. You may have to say it out loud when your kids are particularly trying your patience. Be firm. You can be consistent, calm, in control and empathetic while also being firm.

If you stay the course, you will reap the rewards. Your kids will eventually thank you for it, and you will be glad that you put in the tough hours and days.

What do you think? Were you spoiled as a child, or were your parents strict and firm about rules and boundaries? Are you quick to give in when your child has a meltdown? Have you ever been embarrassed by your child? Or have other parents encouraged you for being firm with discipline?