According To Science, Your Meanest Friend Is The Only One Who Genuinely Wants The Best For You

Nov 09, 2018 by apost team

When you develop a close relationship with someone to the point that you're "best friends," the lines can be blurred on what's actually harmful to say versus what isn't. Simply put, some of the closest people in our lives aren't afraid to be honest, even if what they're saying is downright mean.

When the lines are blurred, it can be hard to bring up the hurtfulness because hey, you're just friends, you've probably said some mean things too, and they're just being annoying, right? However, new evidence suggests that when friends are mean to one another, being hurtful is actually the farthest things they're thinking in the moment.

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Genuineness and sincerity are the roots of a lot of things friends say to one another that might come across as mean or hurtful. In fact, "Psychological Science" suggests that these close friends are only thinking about what's best for one another.

By having an encounter with some level of negativity, being mean is actually helping someone face a challenge they'll likely encounter at some point in life. In many ways, the friend is being protective; would you rather your friend bring something up, or a random person on the streets?

A study was conducted at the University of Plymouth that added further evidence to this theory. Basically, behavioral data was collected on how certain individuals handled difficult and complex situations. One example is the feeling of failure when one is off track on their studies, distracted by their peers and other things, and thus not doing well in school.

The study concluded that people would be more likely to say mean, hurtful things to someone else if they knew that that person would ultimately benefit from it. By experiencing some level of fear, people would rather be hurtful to others if it meant that they wouldn't experience fear.

All and all, an age-old saying was further exposed: sometimes kindness comes in the form of being cruel. Lots of people think that specific emotions can only be connected to specific situations. We'll be angry when someone cuts us off, happy when we get a present, or sad when someone dies. It's more complex to perceive hurtfulness as a necessary means of kindness.

Further, friends are generally only mean to each other when the situation calls for it. Hurtfulness and emotional strain are not the outcomes these friends are trying to achieve. Rather, being mean is the only way they feel like they can protect one another from an even more harmful situation.

In the end, friends have each other's back. If one friend is wearing something that doesn't quite match, being mean about it might be the only way for someone to realize "woah, this outfit looks quite strange."

In a way, being mean is just an ultimate form of honesty, attached to a level of protection. People can have a hard time distinguishing between what's truly hurtful, and what's genuine honesty and kindness disguised as mean, unfiltered, words from someone.

Which of your friends is the meanest? Pass this article along to them and tell us your experiences in the comments!