A Man With These Thirteen Habits Will Make His Partner No Longer Want To Be With Him
Feb 08, 2021 by apost team
Most of us know what kind of partner would be ideal for us, and while most people cannot tick all the boxes we need, a good partner only needs to have a few quality traits that are important to us. After all, no one is perfect. However, a lot of us spend so much time knowing what we want in a partner that we don't stop and think about what we DON'T want. This aspect is just as important in a relationship, if not more. If you find any of the traits listed in your partner, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and catch the red flags before they cause heartache in the long term.
Marriage is an extremely important step in one's life and the decision is not taken lightly by most people. While it is a beautiful bond and continues to be celebrated, most people are not the perfect partner for the other. After all, it is once in a blue moon that someone finds a partner that fits their criteria exactly, and even then, some compromises have to be made. However, most people rarely think of what they don't want in a partner. This could be because it is considered a "negative" thing to think of everything a partner shouldn't have, but we would make the case that it is necessary to know what you don't want just as much as knowing what you want.
Some traits may seem harmless at first but can develop into something highly toxic that can have a major impact on your relationship in the long run. The traits listed below can spell trouble for your relationship in the future, and may need to be taken into account before making any important decisions such as marriage:
1. Hating Animals
There is a big difference between not wanting to have a pet and hating animals. Some people just don't like the extra hassle that comes with taking care of a pet, and this is a personal choice in the end. However, a man who hates animals is someone who believes that animals have no emotions and tends to treat innocent and harmless creatures terribly. He may kick a stray cat when walking around and laugh with joy, for example. This shows that he has no empathy at all, which can also be reflected in the relationship.
A man who hates animals may not allow you to express your own emotions or downplays the hurt he has caused you. He may even turn it around on you and blame you for all that is wrong in the relationship. A man without empathy is not someone who will make a good marriage partner.
2. He Won’t Respect Basic Relationship Rules
All relationships have basic ground rules. These are decided both by talking about it as well as understanding your partner. For example, you may both have the rule that you spend one hour a day away from your phone and with each other. An example of an unsaid rule may be your partner keeping you in the loop about when he is coming home from work. Similarly, he may have rules for you, such as not disturbing him when he is watching something.
These rules show the boundaries you have for each other and respecting them is extremely important in any relationship. Both partners need to follow these rules to maintain a healthy relationship. If he absolutely refuses, you have a problem. It shows that he doesn’t value the rules or you, and will eventually lead to emotional turmoil for both down the line.
3. He Frequently Breaks Promises
It’s normal to forget something once in a while, and we all make mistakes. The same goes for a broken promise, as long as it doesn’t happen often. But when your partner starts to break promises or forgets things all the time, this becomes something to worry about. This points to a fundamental problem within one of the pillars of a healthy relationship: respect. If a man does not respect you enough, he does not think that breaking promises is a big deal. This lack of respect can show itself in other ways as well and ends up making you question your own self-worth. A man who does not care enough about you to keep his word time and again is not a man who will love you within a marriage.
4. He Doesn't Value Other Relationships
All relationships go through a difficult period once in a while, but if your partner keeps using every disagreement as an excuse to cut away a friendship, then it is a major red flag. A man who doesn't value the contributions of other people in his life won’t hesitate to leave them behind for good over a small disagreement. It won’t matter if it is a friend from his past or his current boss, no one stands a chance with a man who does not care for others.
If it is that easy for him to walk away from others, he could easily do the same when it comes to you. This type of behavior is not a great sign for the future; you may already be feeling like you have to walk on eggshells to keep your partner from reacting badly to anything you do. If this is the case, it may be time to seriously consider leaving him behind.
5. He Doesn’t Admit He is Wrong
Everyone makes mistakes and says the wrong things from time to time. If he never admits that he is wrong and will argue incessantly over it, this is a bad sign. Some examples of what this sounds like are: "Your behavior MADE ME do it, it's not MY fault," "I had no choice but to do this, so don't blame me for it, blame others," and "There is nothing wrong with what I did and it's your reaction that is the problem, not me." Phrases such as this erode the trust and love you once had for the person and replace it with hopelessness.
Not owning up to your mistakes is a big sign of immaturity, and can backfire on you often if he is unwilling to take responsibility for his words and actions. You will end up being blamed for everything. He will be right no matter what, and you will always be the one who is wrong. It is one of the biggest red flags that can permanently cripple a relationship.
6. He Never Ends the Fight
Disagreements are an integral part of any healthy relationship, but fighting for the sake of fighting is very counterproductive. Disagreements are normal but they also need to come to an end at some point, and a person who is unwilling to let go of a topic that no longer serves you or your relationship is not a person whom you want to marry. They may end up making you feel as though the good moments are far and few in between, while the rest of the time is spent being exhausted from the constant fighting. You should always be able to be open and honest with your significant other, even if you know they won’t agree with you, but a bad partner may make you afraid to approach any topic that can cause a disagreement.
Letting go is also a trait that every person with a healthy mindset has. There are two questions that you are faced with when arguing: "is this fight or issue more important than the person I love?" and "Is it both of us against the problem or me against you?" If the answer to the first question is that the problem is more important than the person, it gives you a reason to leave. If the answer to the second question is, unfortunately, "you against me," the relationship is beginning to get toxic and you may want to rethink your stance.
7. He Doesn’t Let You Talk
Communication is made of two parts: talking as well as listening. When we communicate to our partners that we need something from them, we know that they have listened when they show their love through their actions. A bad partner doesn't let you talk nor does he listen. When you try to talk to him, he doesn’t hesitate to cut you off and walk away from the conversation. This shows that he has a severe lack of conversational skills and does not value your thoughts and opinions. Moreover, he doesn't communicate clearly by himself and takes his frustration out on you if he doesn't understand why you are upset. You may find yourself constantly begging him to listen, which is quite toxic.
8. He Has No problem Lying
Small, white lies are excusable in a relationship, and are sometimes even required! A loving man will never tell his partner about the large zit on her face until and unless he is asked, and he will always downplay how bad it is, for example. However, if he is constantly lying in a relationship even for the smallest of things, this will severely impact your bond. Every healthy relationship needs to be based on trust, and you can never have trust when you are with someone who is always lying to you. Trust is essentially the bread and butter that feeds a relationship, and a man who constantly lies does not care for you or a long-term future with you.
9. He is Narrow-Minded
Narrow-mindedness can be seen in many actions, but it is most prominently seen in how he "allows" you to be. If your partner believes that you must behave and dress in a certain way, and if he punishes you because you did not adhere to his rules, it will most certainly end in disaster for the both of you.
This type of man is not open to anything but his own worldview, which can seriously harm you if he continues to exert control over your life. It may become a challenge to live with him because of all the new "rules" that suddenly pop up every time you do something he doesn't like.
10. You Aren’t a Priority
A healthy relationship means giving and receiving from both partners. In a healthy relationship, each partner puts the needs of the other on par or even ahead of their own. By putting the other first every time, both partners come out as winners. Each one should be open and honest with the other and willing to make sacrifices. However, a man who thinks that you aren't a priority will be selfish and always takes from you but never gives.
When he doesn’t make you a priority in his life, he probably really isn’t into you as much as you are into him, and he may even enjoy the power dynamics of the relationship. You’ll always be second-best to him, which is a truly painful feeling. Knowing you deserve better can help you break away from a toxic partner.
11. He is Abusive
Abusive takes many forms, from mental to verbal to physical and neither should be tolerated. While physical abuse is the one that is most recognized, emotional abuse and verbal abuse are just as damaging. A man who is emotionally abusive may sneer or laugh at your sadness, may gaslight you, and will find ways to purposely make you unhappy. Verbal abuse is also often a part of the emotional abuse, and swear words, as well as insults, are thrown at you without a second thought. The only thing an abusive man cares about is having power over you. There is never any reason for a man to be abusive to you.
12. He is Clingy
A healthy relationship means that the two people can be away from one another for a reasonable time without issues. While there is some romance to your partner feeling incomplete without you, there is a big difference between wanting to have the others' company and expecting that the other person stays around you no matter what. Being clingy can also mean that your partner needs to constantly be reassured that they are still in your life somehow, which can result in multiple calls and messages that become too much. This type of partner may not understand that you are doing something else, they expect that you put everything down to respond to their needs.
A clingy partner may make you feel suffocated within the relationship and it can be exhausting for both partners. It isn’t healthy for a relationship, no matter how much the clingy partner seems to love and need you.
What do you think of these 12 toxic? Do you agree with them? Do you have any more to add to the list? Let us know what you think in the comments and be sure to pass this along to friends and family!