A Letter To My Children For When Stopped Needing Me Full-Time

Nov 27, 2018 by apost team

All parents know that raising little kids requires most of their time and attention on a daily basis. However, children will reach an age one day when this level of care is no longer needed. One mother decided to write her thoughts on paper to share her feelings with us all.

The word 'mommy' is spoken many times throughout the day in my home. My boys are four and six years of age. They dominate the majority of my time. My boys seemingly need me to do something from the moment they wake up in the morning until they lay down to sleep at night. One may want a cup of water in the morning and the other will ask for milk. I will be needed for breakfast, lunch, to dress them, wash their hands and many other daily activities.

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At this point in their young lives, they require most of my time and energy. It is amazing to feel needed and loved to this extent, however, there are times when the constant requests cause exhaustion. I sometimes feel as if I am trying to exist in two places at the same time. I find myself trying to answer the questions of both boys at once, or tending to both their needs simultaneously. Like most parents, I find a way.

I admit there are moments I wish for more control of my time. I dream of a time when they won't need me for so many things. I long for a time when I do not have to constantly consider how my actions will affect the needs of my children. I also understand that I need my boys just like they need me. I know that a day will come when they will have their own lives. And those lives will not always include me. They will not possess the same need for me. I know that this will surely cause some sadness for me.

That's why I've written down some words for my boys to read when they're older and won't need me anymore:

You will both be too big to need your mother in only a few years. You will be able to bathe and dress yourselves. You will not need your mother to pour you a glass of water. As teenagers, you may get rude or ignore me at times. The sweet and constant babble I hear from you now about the many things you learned at school will be replaced with a sparseness of words and sometimes even total silence. The kisses and hugs I receive from you now will not take place as often. Time for me will diminish as you become consumed with friends, sports, studying, and girls. None of this is a problem. It is the way of the world. It is the process of children becoming adults.

I want you to remember when my time belonged to you. When my days were spent preparing meals you requested and didn't eat, stuck in school traffic, or making sure you chewed your food slowly enough to prevent choking. Also, remember the three hours of sleep I got while not feeling well only to leave bed to catch a quick glimpse of you in a school play. I want you to remember because I now understand how important these times are. None of this time was wasted. The time I gave to you was as meaningful as any time spent anywhere in my life. I will always remember the moments when it was just you at my breast and me experiencing the joys only a mother can know. 

The need you now have for me equates to trust and love. I find it hard to express the happiness I get from knowing the limitless love and trust you have for me. The dreams I have now of finding more time for myself are often interrupted by dual bear hugs. All the sacrifices are worth just one utterance of 'I love you, mommy,' coming from your lips. I know there will be a time in my life that I wish to relive every moment of your early childhoods.

To other parents, I say the next time you are frustrated by the time it takes to assure your kid finishes his meal, or the job offer you were forced to reject because of your parenting responsibilities, remember your time will soon come. However, the time you enjoy with your children in the present will never return. You should cherish each moment like it is more valuable than any other possession on earth. You should do so because it is.

Have you ever become frustrated with the time and energy necessary to parent your children? Do you have children who have grown past the point of needing you full-time? Let us know about your experiences! Pass this heartfelt message on to everyone you know - parents and children alike will benefit from her wisdom.