9 Warning Signs Your Friends Take Advantage Of Your Kind Personality
Jan 10, 2019 by apost team
These days, many individuals are seeking to develop meaningful friendships with other people for the purpose of becoming healthier and happier. However, it's important to remember that many friendships that individuals attempt to establish are unhealthy. In fact, many people will find themselves being taken advantage of by their "friends" at some point.
Read on to learn about several signs which might indicate that a so-called friend is taking advantage of you:
1. They Always Talk About Themselves.
One sign that someone is taking advantage of you is that your interactions with them always center around what they are thinking, doing, and/or feeling. For example, you might meet a friend for lunch and find that they spend the first ten minutes talking about their new job. They may spend another fifteen minutes discussing their boyfriend and then finally ask how you're doing.
In real, mutual friendships, dynamic dialogues tend to include back-and-forth conversations marked by each individual asking and sharing. When your friend is just talking about what is going on in her life without spending adequate time discussing your needs and new things in your world, think twice about pulling them to your bosom.
2. You Have To Reach Out First.
Another sign that you are being taken advantage of is that you have to reach out to this individual first. In mutual, loving relationships, both parties are interested in continually connecting for the purpose of supporting one another and remaining up to date regarding life developments.
Yet when you constantly text or email someone to set up the next get-together, the mutuality is not there. If someone is letting you do all the work in this area, it may be an indication that they're only reaching out to you when they want or need something, not because they genuinely enjoy spending time with you.
3. They're Being Polite, Not Personal.
In many cases, you can know that an individual is taking advantage of your kind nature because they're being polite rather than personal. While being courteous and tactful is typically good, it can also be a strategy that individuals use to keep relationships superficial or get things they want from others.
In authentic relationships, people make things personal by at least periodically discussing big life issues or sharing stories of triumph and tribulation. If you find that your friends are typically polite rather than personal, think twice before pouring your energies into the relationship development process.
4. They Fish For Compliments.
If you find that a friend is constantly fishing for compliments, know that you are likely being taken advantage of. This is the case because some people want to be around other individuals for the purpose of making them an "ego prop."
This means that they want the other person's energy to be used for the sole purpose of making them look or feel good. Thus when you find that a friend wants you to constantly affirm their work or appearance-and especially if they want you to do it in front of other people-you might want to press pause on the relationship.
5. They're Not There For You.
Everyone goes through hard times in life. Real friends are there during the struggle. This doesn't mean that they can always offer you everything in terms of financial support. But they give what they can (whether it be time or resources) because they genuinely care.
If you have a friend who is consistently absent during your hour of need, think twice about whether they really are a friend. If the other person appears irritated when you try to discuss something sensitive or abruptly changes the subject to a superficial topic, beware!
6. You Make Sacrifices. They Don't.
If you're really serious about determining whether your friends are taking advantage of your kind nature, think about who makes the sacrifices and when. If you constantly cover her tab for dinner, pick her daughter up from school, or perform some other sacrificial act without attaining the same type of support from her, it's time to pump the brakes on the relationship.
7. They Only Come Around When They Need Something.
This sign is very straightforward. People who only reach out to you when they need money, time, or some form of support are not friends. They are users.
8. You're Always Going Out Of Your Way.
In many cases, getting out of your comfort zone is a healthy, progressive way to engage in the world. However, when you're always going out of your way to help or assist someone in a manner that makes you feel used, think twice before allowing this to become a usual behavior.
For example, many people find themselves regularly engaging in activities they find boring because they want to spend time with a friend who enjoys the activity. If you're constantly abandoning your favorite pastimes to engage in these behaviors yet find that the other person is unwilling to do so, it's time to reevaluate.
9. When You Address Issues, You're Ignored.
One final sign which indicates that your friends are taking advantage of your kind nature is attempting to address the problem and finding yourself regularly ignored. Oftentimes, individuals who take advantage of you are ego-centered, meaning that they consciously or unconsciously come to believe that everyone else should operate in a self-sacrificial manner when around them.
Has this article helped you weed out bad friends and welcome in good ones? Did you realize your kindness has been taken advantage of by your friends? Let us know in the comments! Don't forget to pass this article along to your kindest friends and family to help them cut toxic friends out of their lives, too.