8 Things That Happen When You Meet A Nice Guy After A Narcissistic Relationship

Dec 19, 2018 by apost team

Letting go of any relationship is hard, but there is something about narcissistic relationships that make them incredibly hard to let go of. You have become accustomed to him prioritizing no one else other than himself. You have become used to not getting the attention you desire and always playing second fiddle. This kind of behavior is easy to get used to because you think you still see some good in them, and that they can still change. 

1. They are Like Drugs: You get addicted to them. You seek the security of being in a relationship for fear of being alone. Most women who are in these kinds of relationships would instead settle for the narcissist than risk having none. So, you stick around because of that security. The suffering seems more comfortable than solitude. 
2. They are Challenging: At the back of your mind, you know that you are the only one responsible for your happiness. And even though you know this, you are still struggling to make the relationship work. But here is the thing, it takes two to tango, so why should you be the only one trying to make it work? Stop trying to control everything and let things be. 
3. They are Humiliating: A narcissist is someone who believes that they are above everyone else, and that includes you too. Being in a relationship with such an individual means that they will always put themselves before you. You are dating someone that will never listen to you or be there for you when you need them. Essentially, you are dating someone that is in love with themselves. 

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The only role you play in such a man’s life is to feed their ego. You come second to him and always will. The typical outcome of being in a narcissistic relationship is losing your self-worth and self-respect. And you are likely to carry this emotional baggage with you into your next relationship. 

When you are finally able to break off from that narcissistic relationship, you find yourself looking at another challenge. When you meet a great guy that treats you the way you deserve, you suddenly realize that you are out of your element. You do not know how to handle someone valuing you. You have become so accustomed to playing second fiddle that being treated right just does not feel right. 

Here are some of the things you will experience with a good guy after being in a narcissistic relationship.

He is always kind to you. He does all the right things. But since you were with a self-absorbed person, you do not know how to handle these sweet affirmations of your worthiness.

You have been so used to apologizing for the silliest of things just for the sake of avoiding an argument. Other times things got out of control, and you fought. And then everybody cooled off and life continued. But you never heard him admit to a mistake; it was always your fault. 

But with this new guy, anytime things get out of hand, as it is typical of all relationships, he utters these words, “I am sorry, I was wrong.”

This can be a strange and overwhelming feeling. This person is confident in you. You have been with someone who always made you doubt yourself but here is a guy who believes that you can achieve anything you desire. This new experience will feel awkward because you are not used to having someone appreciate your worth. You forgot how to be worthy. 

In your previous relationship, it was all about him. A conversation with them always started and ended with ‘I’; I want this, I did that… But now you find yourself with someone who genuinely cares about what you have to say. He wants to know how your day was, what your plans are. What you say means a lot to him because they want to share their life with you. 

With the narcissist, you always had to go the extra mile to feed his ego to keep him. However, nothing came back your way. But now, you have this guy who always surprises you with little gifts and dates. There are no hidden motives with him; you are his queen that he loves dearly.

He is aware that you have been in a toxic relationship and that you are fearful of history repeating itself. He understands this and is being patient with you. This is why he is giving you the time and reasons for you to allow yourself to trust him. And because your last relationship was not built on the grounds of trust, you always ended up being the one to blame for all the problems. This is what made you lose all your faith in people, and your self-absorbed ex further affirmed that. 

This new guy understands that any stable and fulfilling relationship is built on a foundation of trust and that is why he is doing all he can to not only prove himself as trustworthy but so that you can learn to trust yourself again. 

He teaches you that true love is all about mutual respect. You realize that love is genuinely about caring and being cared for. You come to understand that what you were going through previously was not love. Love is all about fighting through life’s hardships together with someone who always puts you in their plans. 

Narcissistic people are individuals that like being in control. But since no one can control everything and everyone around them, narcissists cannot handle it and will often lash out at those close to them. This made you walk on eggshells around them for fear of saying something that might trigger them. In a healthy relationship, however, that kind of behavior does not exist. You soon learn that real relationships are all about compromise. 

Getting out of a narcissistic relationship is hard. Egotistical men tend to be very cunning and manipulative. After eliminating all your feelings of self-respect and self-worth, they make you feel the only way you can earn their approval is by feeding their ego. 

Nevertheless, don't be ashamed of what you have been through. It takes a strong woman to break free from such a relationship. The important thing is to allow yourself to be valued and loved as you should be.

Have you ever been in a toxic relationship or are you trying to get out of one? Let us know about your story and be sure to pass this article on for everyone should know that they deserve true love.

There are a couple of moments where he gives you crumbs of attention, and you feel like the happiest girl in the world, only for him to revert to his usual ways of not giving a damn about you. In those moments when he forgets to only care about himself, you realize that this is how your relationship is supposed to be all of the time, but sadly, it’s not. 

The only thing that you have in common with him is that you both love him. Here is the thing about narcissistic relationships: