51 Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship

Jan 03, 2019 by apost team

Often, we cling to that person that we love, even when deep down we know that they are not suitable for us. Toxic relationships will not only take a toll on your self-confidence and esteem but might trigger mental and physical stress as well. 

While most relationships might have a toxic trait or two, toxic relationships often feature a lot of the following signs that we are going to list here. If your relationship exhibits the following signs, it is highly probable that it is toxic, and it might be time to end things. 

While the article will repeatedly use ‘your partner,’ consider it as ‘you or your partner. 

1. You are not each other’s first line of emotional support; rather, you first look to other people. 

2. They actively dissuade you from spending time with your support network of family or friends. 

3. They constantly belittle while implying that you are stupid and that they are the smart one. They will try and stop you from trying something new because you might not understand it. 

4. They do not respect your opinion especially when you say ‘no’ to something. 

5. They imply that you are valuable for only one thing, be it good looks, sex, or your ability to earn. 

6. You cannot pinpoint any value that you have added to each other. For instance, you have not taught each other any skills or even adopted each other’s interests. 

7. You can pinpoint the negative influences that you have passed on to each other, especially harmful habits such as smoking, heavy drinking, and laziness. 

8. They never have a good thing to say about your body and will constantly remind you of your flaws. 

9. There is no sense of relationship security. You have broken up or come to the verge of it many times. 

10. You always seem to do embarrassing things whenever you are with each other, such as arguing in public or in front of the kids.

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11. They are dismissive of your emotions. For instance, if they are driving too fast and you point out your fear, they keep at it anyway. 

12. They involve you in unethical or fraudulent activities, such as lying on official forms. 

13. You do not feel your growth as an individual, and actually feel worse than when you started the relationship. 

14. You feel unable to get their attention even when you want to discuss important matters. 

15. They are constantly mocking you, such as making fun of your facial expressions or voice in a mean way. 

16. They do not congratulate you on your success. They might even attempt to belittle it. 

17. You are unable to confide in them. You are not sure that they would act helpfully or respectfully if you were to approach them with a sensitive matter. 

18. They constantly make jokes about leaving you while teasing you with thoughts about how their second partner will be like. 

19. They follow the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ principle whenever you are not together. If they leave for a trip and say that they will call upon arrival, they are likely not to follow through. 

20. Whenever you disagree, it is always their way or the highway.

21. You are not sure how supportive, dependable, or reliable they would be if you got into a situation where you really needed them. For instance, if you or your family member got seriously sick. 

22. Either you or your partner blames the other for their life not being as fulfilling as it should have been. 

23. They are dismissive of your interests and projects. They judge things from their perspective rather than how much they mean to you. 

24. You stonewall. You do not talk about any serious or deep relationship topics. 

25. You don’t think they would make a good parent. 

26. You would rather go to a bar or Starbucks rather than go back home to them. 

27. Your life is not in order. You both spend more than you earn on meaningless things. 

28. You do not make a good team. 

29. They constantly give you negative surprises, such as mishandling your joint credit card. 

30. You repeatedly lie to each other.

31. They go out but do not tell you where or coming back home without any explanation. 

32. You are worried about getting hurt when they are angry. 

33. You feel as if you are trapped in the relationship. 

34. You both get defensive whenever you argue. You do not acknowledge it when the other has a valid point. 

35. Your arguments always involve blaming each other rather than accepting some blame. 

36. You constantly criticize each other negatively. 

37. You or your partner complain about each other to your respective friends. 

38. You are always lying to other people to cover up for their bad behaviour, such as not showing up to an event they had promised to attend. 

39. You are distant even when you are with each other. 

40. If you were asked to rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 on qualities such as warmth, reliability, and trustworthiness, you would give them less than 5.

41. You do not remember when they ever compromised their interests for you. 

42. Your relationship is not affectionate. You rarely smile, kiss, or even touch each other. 

43. They are coercive in sexual matters. 

44. They perceive themselves as of being a higher mate value than you. They imply that they are doing you a favour by being with you. 

45. They keep you at a distance emotionally. There is no interdependence between you. 

46. They are constantly comparing you unfavourably to other people, especially friends’ partners or spouses. 

47. Your arguments always seem to escalate to ultimatums – ‘If you do not… I will…’ 

48. There are other people you know that you would rather be in a relationship with. 

49. Either or both of you are cheating. 

50. You call each other ‘crazy’ whenever you argue. This implies that whatever the other is saying is irrational to you. 

51. Your arguments have escalated into violence.

Toxic relationships will take an emotional, mental, and physical toll on you. Additionally, you waste valuable time that you would have spent with someone who appreciates your value. The best option is to leave a toxic engagement. 

If your relationship exhibits multiple of the above signs, it might be time to reconsider a few things. Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? How was life after leaving it? Let us know in the comments below and send this article to someone you know, who needs to read this!