5 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Gaslighting You

Jan 02, 2019 by apost team

If you have ever started questioning your sanity around a certain person, you could be the victim of gaslighting. Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic some people use to make you think you are losing your mind.

A lot of victims never consider that they could be the target of gaslighting because they don't want to believe such a thing could happen to them. Also, some manipulators wait until they have gained trust to begin gaslighting. If you would like to spot the signs of gaslighting so that you can protect yourself, this guide will help.

apost.com

Before we begin, you might be asking yourself why some people gaslight in the first place. Understanding the reason behind the behavior makes it even easier for you to spot the warning signs.

The number one reason is that the manipulator wants to exert some form of control over you, and controlling you becomes much easier if you doubt your own judgment. Another reason is that the manipulator wants to cover his tracks after being caught doing something wrong, such as cheating on a partner.

If you catch someone in blatant lies all the time, that person might be attempting to gaslight you. You must remember that gaslighting is a long-term process, not something that occurs overnight.

A skilled manipulator will look you in the eye and lie in a way that seems genuine and straightforward. In these cases, the manipulator knows you will likely catch them in the lie, but they aim to break you down over time. By repeating the same lie over and over, the manipulator aims to earn your trust.

Denial is a huge trait among those who engage in gaslighting behavior. A gaslighter will never admit that she is gaslighting you. She will never even admit when she is wrong, and apologies only come when they serve a more sinister purpose, such as getting you to lower your guard.

You could, for example, catch a manipulator in bed with someone else and later confront them about it, and the manipulator will play dumb, pretending to have no idea why you think something is wrong. Their goal is to make you question what you thought you saw so that you no longer suspect them of doing something wrong.

A manipulator knows that gaslighting you is much easier if you don't have a strong support network. For that reason, they will try creating as much distance between you and the people close to you as possible.

They will find ways to make you not trust your close friends and family so that you can't go to them for objective advice. If that does not work, they will try getting close to your family and making them not trust you. The manipulator will use character assassination and other tactics to achieve this goal

Making you question your judgment is one of the biggest signs of gaslighting you will discover. The manipulator will even try turning the tables to make you feel guilty for suspecting that something was wrong. The manipulator might tell you that they have always been there for you and are hurt you would think they are trying something.

One example is a cheater making their partner think they are paranoid for suspecting the cheating. They might tell you they will do something and then not to it, and they will later claim they never said it. The aim is to prevent you from trusting your memory so that you will call your own judgment into question.

If the manipulator is successful in this area, he will gain almost complete control because you will trust his judgment more than you trust your own.

If a manipulator wants to isolate you from the world, she will try to make everyone else believe you are crazy or otherwise unreliable. To reach that goal, the manipulator will try finding your insecurities and things that trigger a strong emotional response from you.

Once the manipulator finds these vulnerabilities, she will use subtle methods to trigger a response, using your reaction against you. She will point out to others that your reaction is proof you are unstable.

You are now armed with the tools that will let you spot gaslighting before it's too late to get away. If you notice any of these signs in your relationship, you might want to take some time to yourself to decide where you stand. If you allow suspected gaslighters into your life, set clear boundaries and enforce them consistently.

Those who don't respect your boundaries have no place in your life. While cutting these people out will be difficult, it's the best choice for your mental well-being over the long run. Rather than manipulators, you want people in your life who care about and treat you with respect.

Can you identify with any of the points in this article? Let us know about your experiences in the comment section below and pass this article along to your friends and family - you never know who might need to read it.