5 Reasons Why It’s A Good Thing To Lose Friends As You Get Older

Jul 24, 2018 by apost team

Many people notice that they lose friends as they get older. Friendships they had made in high school and college don’t always endure after they begin their career and/or start a family. This is actually normal, and there are many reasons why it happens. For example, some friendships depended on proximity; you hung out with a group of pals in college because you all lived in the same dorm.

After college, you all moved to different states or even countries and gradually lost contact with each other. Similarly, if you have children, your relationships with people without children often change. None of this bad; in fact, it’s perfectly normal and even be healthy. Consider the following benefits to losing old friends:

Not all friends or friendships are good. Everybody knows that person who made you feel bad when you were with them. They were always complaining or whining about something. They never helped you or had your back. They might have even gossiped about you without your knowledge. You don’t need these “friends,” and you’re better off without them.

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Not only do you lose friends as you get older, you often make new ones. For example, when you start a new job, you may start hanging out with some of your co-workers. Not only can they teach you the ropes of your new position, but they can introduce you to new people, new places, or new ideas. Your own interests and tastes may change accordingly.

When you’re young and have relatively few responsibilities, it’s easy to get together with the gang several times a week. As you get older and take on career and family responsibilities, you then need to make some hard decisions about how to spend your free time.

For example, do you hang out with the gang or go out to dinner with your husband or wife? Do you go partying with your friends or put in some overtime for your boss? As you get older, you will need to find ways to balance your responsibilities with your social life and your own personal interests. Having fewer friends will give you more time to fulfill your responsibilities and have some “me” time that you can devote to your hobbies and other interests.

When you have a smaller social group, you can devote more time and energy to the people in that group. While a young person craves the feeling of popularity that a large group of acquaintances can provide, an older person often prefers having a few close friends they can depend on. Women with children, for example, often seek out each other in order to cultivate a network of friends to help each other with their kids.

Hanging out with people you knew from high school or college can keep you stuck in old patterns. For example, if all your college buddies like to go to the same bar and have the same political beliefs, you probably won’t explore other options. Similarly, you may find yourself falling into old – and immature – behavior patterns around old friends.

For instance, if you were the class clown in high school, you may find yourself adopting that role around your high school buddies, even though you’ve outgrown it in other parts of your life.

Losing old friends and finding new ones is healthy and normal. The ideal situation is to maintain old friendships that still bring you pleasure and forge new friendships. You can form the latter by joining a club or other organization that interests you. If you find yourself missing an old friend, they are probably only an e-mail away. Don’t get upset, though, if you find you no longer have anything in common or they don’t want to renew the friendship. That happens and is normal.

What have your experiences with old friendships been like? Pass this on to your loved ones.