4 Reasons Not To Contact Your Ex

Breakups and separations have the capacity to be messy, painful ordeals. No one likes to deal with the fallout. But if you've gone through a breakup, the most important thing to do is move on.


When a couple separates, there's bound to be some kind of negative feeling. The fighting can be draining, and the split itself can be exhausting. But breakups happen on a frequent basis. If you enter into a relationship, you should be prepared for the fact that it will either end in a breakup or death.



You aren't guaranteed to find perfect relationships. That's just a practical thing to accept about reality. There are a number of possibilities that would cause a breakup. Some couples will break up over seemingly inconsequential arguments, while others will break up because they have huge issues lingering throughout their relationship. Some couples break up in the spur of the moment, while others come to the decision after months or even years of unhappiness.


There is one constant truth when a person goes through a breakup. At least one of the involved parties is going to be disappointed or hurt. No one enters their relationship already planning how they're going to break up in the future. Breakups can be traumatizing and shocking for all individuals involved, especially if they haven't gone through this type of thing before.

These are the main four reasons you should avoid contacting your ex:

1. You need some alone time so that you can heal


After people break up, it's essential that they move on. This is the most important thing a person can do to get their life back to normal. Life still exists after the relationship you just ended. You should try to be present in that life and come to terms with the fact that your relationship is now in the past. You have a whole future stretching out before you. Moving on is a difficult and sometimes slow process, but you aren't the only person who's ever gone through it. Billions of people throughout history have picked themselves up after a bad breakup and moved forward.

An emotional wound is one of the hardest to heal. You can't take a medicine to speed the healing process for your broken heart. You just need time. Every time you contact your ex, you reset your clock. You're just reminding yourself of the relationship, which is keeping you from moving on. You should take time alone to reorient yourself and feel better.

2. You are wasting energy by trying to contact your ex


After you have a bad breakup, it's very important that you try not to contact your ex. You don't want to stir up old negative feelings, and you definitely don't want to stir up old positive feelings. It's a bad idea to start anything with them if you've been down the road already. You already know that the relationship can't end in any good way. All the same, contacting your ex can sometimes be tempting. Many people have succumbed to that temptation. But it's always a bad idea.


3. You will only remember the good about the relationship and remain stuck in a fantasy land


Every time you text your ex, you're transported to a fantasy world where things worked out between you. But things didn't work out. The longer it takes you to accept that, the more painful the eventual acceptance will be. You need to wake up and spend your time in reality, not construct a fantasy to keep you from moving on. 

4. You are stopping yourself from having any kind of closure


Why would you keep texting your ex? Your relationship has ended. You already know how this story ends. There isn't any way that it plays out differently. When you contact your ex, all you're doing is wasting your energy. You could better spend that energy getting in touch with yourself, or getting to know other people!

You need to grieve the relationship. It's natural to be sad and to go through a healing process. But you shouldn't let yourself stagnate. You have to keep going in your life. You have to accept the possibility that you'll be loved by other people, and that your life can be fulfilling and happy even without your ex in it.

Have you ever had a hard time cutting off contact with an ex? Let us know and pass this article on to someone who needs to read this.