3 Ways Women Downplay The Power Of Their Words

Nov 12, 2018 by apost team

There is no denying the power of words. But in our daily life, women learn quickly that what we say matters even when it shouldn't. The words you use can make or break a relationship, prevent you from getting a job, and they can also hinder your personal growth by destroying how you feel about yourself.

Words matter and they matter even more when spoken by a woman determined to get ahead in a male-dominated world.

Men and women are different; that disparity often makes communicating difficult and gives credence to the joke that we are from opposing and maybe competing for planets. It's important to understand what is being communicated and how that idea may be sabotaged by inappropriate and weak words.

A longitudinal study of emoticon use in text messaging from smartphones, conducted by a group of researchers, used smartphone data from men and women over six months and aggregated 124,000 text messages. They found that women are more likely to use emoticons in texts than men. Another study on Gender and Nonverbal Behavior, published by the American Psychological Association, explains that women are more expressive and emotional.

When we communicate, we intend to tell how we feel and share what we think. Men, on the other hand, interact with the intent of sharing ideas, suggestions, and facts.

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Women don't want to be seen as angry or a nag; while, men thrive on being assertive when they speak. All of that comes across when we talk, so it's important that we learn to say what we mean and mean what we say.

Exactly how do women talk? Women too often speak with uncertainty. We talk like we believe that you can get more flies with honey than with vinegar, and so we pour on the honey. Our culture, unfortunately, still prefers the voice of the "belle," who is demure, humble, polite and, therefore, more likable than the woman who thinks and talks like a man.

That's why a woman will use phrases and words that soften her opinion and her approach. Because a woman's primary concern is the comfort of others, she will all too often tone down a significant point and in doing so undermine herself.

Words like "sorry" and "just" are two of the most crippling terms in a woman's vocabulary, and they are a classic example of how you can shoot yourself in the foot. Saying "sorry" when it is not necessary is a misguided apology; it implies that something has been or will be done wrong.

It makes you responsible for the faults and actions of another. Being apologetic when you are wrong is one thing, but being apologetic to make someone else feel good is out of place and unnecessary. "Just" is as bad.

The use of the expression "just" demeans your thoughts and turns the authority and control of your position over to someone else. "Just" is a permission term, many may say it is used for emphasis, but when a woman wants to pour on the honey, "just" is her word of choice.

Dumbing yourself down is not a new phenomenon to women. We do it all the time as a way of massaging the male ego. When you don't want to frighten or intimidate a potential new love interest, it's easier to pretend to be an imbecile than to embarrass him with your wit and intellect.

This technique is evident when we make a condescending joke about ourselves or use a qualifying statement to make us look like we're just like everybody else.

"I am not an expert," or "I'm not sure if this is the only way" are self-deprecating phrases that make you look dumb, so if you look and sound dumb what's to keep someone from believing that you are dumb? Speak your mind. Women have a lot to say, and we've won the right to say it.

When a woman believes in herself, she is often accused of being aggressive. To prevent that stereotyping, many women will go in the opposite direction and take on an overly cautious persona that makes her seem weak and uncertain.

"Do you know what I mean?" and "Does this make sense?" are common qualifiers that imply, in a man's world, that you don't believe in the very idea you"re seeking approval for. The days are over for having to be coy and vulnerable in the boardroom to have our point accepted. If you believe in yourself, say so.

Woman have worked hard for a seat at the corporate table. We've been very particular about what we want, and we have gone after it with everything we have only to get there and then be muted by our own tongue.

There is power in a well-chosen word. The words you choose speak volumes about who you are and what you can do. Before leaving for work, we check to make sure everything is in place, we leave nothing to chance. Let's be the same way about our speech.

Make sure that what you say is correct and on point and make sure it builds you up and makes you look and sound good. Men appreciate someone who knows his/her stuff. The only time they are really afraid of us is when they themselves are not prepared. A right word changes everything.

Do you believe that women should stop downplaying their words and emotions? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below and pass this article to all the strong, independent and courageous women you know!