3 Warning Signs That You Are A Victim Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Sep 27, 2018 by apost team

We judge one another based on an icon instead of true character.

3 Warning Signs That You Are a Victim of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

We live in an age of self-consumption and self-focus. Our value is based on the number of likes or followers on social media. We judge one another based on an icon instead of true character.

The term narcissism comes from a Greek myth about a man named Narcissus . He was so in love with his reflection that he could not tear himself away. He died there, at the pool of his reflection. The myth defines narcissism well. Narcissus was in love with his reflection only after seeing it. He was in love with himself long before. He caused such havoc around him, driving some to suicide. In the end, he was empty and alone. He would never receive the love in return that he felt for his reflection that consumed him.

Persons with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are not so different. They are empty and cold but create an outer shell of beauty and a false sense of grandiosity. Most NPD’s had some wounding in childhood and needed to create a false self. They will protect the façade at all costs, and rage against anyone that exposes them. It does not matter if it is a spouse, friend, or their own child. They enforce one rule. Step in line and admire them unconditionally, even unrequitedly.

How do you know when it’s NPD? Maybe you’re not sure. Let’s discuss 3 signs that you are the victim of narcissistic abuse.

1. Your time and space are continuously disregarded.

Narcissists have a sense of entitlement. You belong to them. This is the parent that goes through their child’s belongings. This is the friend that comes over without calling. This is the spouse that invades every aspect of your privacy, even giving away your things to someone and disregarding your feelings about the matter. Narcissists do not respect boundaries. When you try to set one, you will be met with rage. This rage can differ as much as the personality of a narcissist. It may be explosive and angry, blaming you for disrespecting them. It may be the silent treatment luring you back into the fold. You may even apologize for their actions, just to get back into good graces.

2. You feel drained after being in their presence.

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Being around a narcissist is exhausting. You must always be one step ahead. Your mood is dictated for you, and that mood is never happy. The moment you begin to enjoy yourself, they will pull the rug from under your feet. They are the center of attention. They are the only one that deserves unlimited admiration and joy, even though they can’t feel it.

3. The narrative changes.

Things were perfect in the beginning. There was no lack of attention or affection. Then one day, it changed. Just like that. A phone call or an argument and you were scum. You were left with your head spinning. You wondered what on earth you did to cause such outrage. You try to figure it out. The more you ask the vaguer they become. They accuse you of knowing what you did and how that defines the awfulness of your character. All the while never explaining what it is.

Then the rage stops, and the love bombing begins again. They will only inure you enough to drain your energy and test the limits to which they can take you. Then they must reel you back in. If you have too much time to think, you may figure it out. The truth is that they know that you are smarter than them, better than them. Your ability to love is unconditional and true. You are all the things they cannot be, and they hate you for it.

No matter how much you pour into them, the cavern will never be filled. You keep trying though. You have become hypervigilant, codependent, and consumed. This relationship is not healthy. It doesn’t matter if it is a spouse, friend, sibling, or parent the tactics are all the same.

The only difference between one narcissist to the next is the level of the disorder. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a spectrum disorder. The abuse from them ranges from physical to mental or emotional, but abuse is abuse. It is all damaging. The sooner you know the faster you can get away.

I know it’s easier said than done. Most research on the internet will provide countless stories of going “No Contact” from a person and sometimes entire families. There are “flying monkeys” employed by the narcissist to prevent your attempt at freedom. Sometimes you simply cannot get out.

Learn whatever you can about narcissism. They will never tell you the truth and they certainly will not get help. It was not your fault. This is a person with a mental disorder, but it does not excuse their behavior. Know with complete certainty that you are not the things they say you are. You are beautiful and brilliant. I know because you survived abuse at the hands of this person, and never lost your capacity to love.

What experiences have you had with a narcissistic relationship? Did you go “no contact”? Let’s talk about it. It may save someone’s life.

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