22 Things Only Women Who Have Been Emotionally Used By A Manipulative Narcissist Will Understand

Jan 16, 2019 by apost team

If you are a woman who has been hurt due to emotional use by a narcissist you are likely to know many of the things that have impacted you in a negative way. If you are a friend or family of a woman who has been involved with someone with a narcissistic personality you may only be able to see some of the hurt.

This list of 23 things spells out the signs that one has been used at their own expense and also the ways in which one can get past the bad feelings they have about themselves. A narcissist seems to care only for himself/herself.

Rather than feeling love for oneself a narcissist wants adoration and validation from others to build them up but gives little or nothing in return. Many women express great emotional hurt when realizing the person they cared for is a narcissist and has used them.

1. It may take months or longer to heal because the aftereffects of dating a narcissist can linger. You know that avoiding all of the pain is impossible and therefore accept it.

2. Your value your self less. Honestly, you may feel like crap. Some women feel as if they can't go on and don't recognize themselves.

3. Before you knew this person you felt normal and worthy. After he is finished with his needing you around you feel as if you’ve lost your dignity. You lose the sense of who you were before this relationship.

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4. You attempt to mask your pain and not to let on that everything around you is felt acutely. You are vulnerable and unable to hide this.

6. You try to force a smile, but your eyes tell the truth. Often there is sorrow in your eyes.

7. You don't smile in a sincere way. You want very much to have a real smile but can only manage to force one in the hope of people not worrying about you. This inability to have a joyful smile is the price paid for being involved with a narcissist.

8. You are always on your guard, not wanting to talk about what happened. You build up walls around your emotions. You feel that no one can protect you other than yourself.

9. Much of the time you are depressed and anxiety is often present. You weren't like this when you started the relationship. This is a costly side effect of a toxic relationship controlled by a narcissist.

10. You can't have a full healing process alone. Your most sincere friends will be the only ones who will stick with you. Those who sincerely care about you will be the ones who can be around for endless support. Be sure to accept their support and it will make things easier.

11. You no longer believe that people are inherently good. You look around and it seems as if everyone is out to hurt you. Because you've created this trap, you don't trust anyone. Everywhere, you see behavior that is a reflection of "him," the narcissist.

12. There is certainly no need for you to be judged. You know you've made a mistake. What you need are patience and understanding. The pain lingers and anyone who tells you to "just get over it" has no concept of what you're experiencing.

13. You still don't believe what happened to you. The feeling is like you're in a bad dream and that you will wake up at any moment.

14. You need approval and you need encouragement. It's difficult to snap out of this reality you've become used to. It's hard not to expect something bad to happen. You were living your life in a way that makes it difficult to just reset in a couple of days.

15. You don't trust people. The narcissist who deceived you most was the person with whom you felt a strong connection. Now, whenever you meet someone new you are filled with doubt. When someone does something nice you wait to find out what price you will have to pay.

16. At this time, you don't know how to love. You feel bruised and that love is a distant thing from what you know. You're afraid to even like someone, much less to feel love.

17. In order to avoid emotional suffering, you constantly apologize. You say that you're sorry even though it is often unnecessary. This is because this was a way to not be punished or labeled the "bad one" in a relationship with a narcissist. Now you continue to apologize for even the smallest thing because you are insecure.

18. You won't show your feelings since you think you will pay a price. When you expressed your feelings with the narcissist, he treated you worse.

19. You're afraid you will come off as too dependent or clingy. You don't want to be seen as overly emotional. Instead, you take what seems the easier way, to keep your feelings bottled up. You keep things to yourself.

20. Your mood will switch within hours. Some days you are alone with your innermost thoughts. On other days you feel suffocated by the thoughts.

21. You need someone who will be there for you. You need someone who will convince you that you will be fine. You know you were a strong woman, and even though you don't feel that way, you still are. For now, you can allow someone to offer you protection until you get to return to your old self and stand on your own.

22. You need someone who will really keep the promises they make to you. After feeling like you've been living at the bottom for too long you need someone who will put you first. You need to feel that you are important and alive, to return to the real you.

23. Do not be scared. Inside you is a good woman who is hiding behind that scared face. Right now there is a girl who can give with all her heart. Right now she is scared. Help her by letting her know all of the bad experiences will pass. It may take time. It may take a lot of time, but that good woman will be back stronger and more able to love than ever before.

Do you identify with any of the things listed above? Let us know in the comments and pass this along to your friends and family - you never know who might need to read this today.