13 Marriage Issues Couples Will Come Across & The Methods Used By Wise Couples To Overcome Them

Sep 26, 2018 by apost team

Before a couple ties the knot they can have a tendency to look at marriage through rose-colored glasses. Once they say "I do" and the reality of marital struggle begins to set in, many married people get discouraged.

Here are some of the most common causes of marital problems and some strategies that successful couples have discovered to overcome them.

When she's thinking about looking good for her big wedding day and fitting properly in her dress, a bride-to-be is likely going to be extremely conscious of her weight. The same is often true for the groom-to-be.

But as a University of Glasgow research team discovered, newly married couples routinely put on as much as 5 pounds during the first year of marriage. The reason for weight gain after marriage is simple: a feeling of security.

Rather than worrying about attracting and keeping a boyfriend or girlfriend's attention and affection, married couples tend to be more prone to let themselves go.

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Instead of becoming partners in gaining weight, married couples can determine to become partners in weight loss. When you set out on a path toward healthy living with your spouse by your side the journey can draw you closer together.

Find activities that encourage physical fitness that you both enjoy, such as swimming, hiking, or biking. You can even join a weight loss group together. Ladies, don't be discouraged if your hubby loses weight more quickly as men often tend to do. Be one another's biggest cheerleaders and encouragers.

Though children are a tremendous blessing, they can also be very, very expensive to feed, clothe, and raise. Whether it's paying for baby food, formula, and diapers when they're babies, extracurricular activities when they're kids, cars when they're teens, or college when they grow up, there always seem to be plenty of expenses associated with parenting.

Many lower and middle-income families simply aren't prepared for the cost of raising kids in today's world.

Don't wait until you're ready to have kids to start saving up for the expenses of parenting. Set up a bank account to stash money away out of each paycheck to help cover some of the costs you'll face down the road. It's always smart in life to stay one step ahead of your expenses.

This may mean having to cut down on some of your entertainment or name brand item purchases. And once you're a parent look for ways to save money by going to yard sales and secondhand stores for toys and clothing.

When a guy or a girl is growing up it's often all too typical for their parents to look at them as their "pride and joy" who can do no wrong. Sometimes if this attitude persists into adulthood it can cause plenty of problems for newlyweds.

When they get into arguments as couples are prone to do, they'll run to mom and dad for sympathy and support. The result is a bad relationship and resentment developing between the mother-in-law or father-in-law and their son-in-law or daughter-in-law.

Sometimes daughters-in-law are made to feel that they can't measure up to their mother-in-law's expectations, which leads to hurt feelings.

In order to prevent interference and conflict between in-laws and newlywed couples, they should try to avoid living together. If financial problems make living with in-laws a necessity for a while the couple should set up some clear boundaries.

Husbands and wives should sit down with their parents and make sure they understand and respect those boundaries.

These can be simple things like agreeing not to name call or use derogatory speech about each other and to allow the couple to have alone time.

Finances contribute to more marriage breakups than perhaps any other single reason. Two single people with very different spending habits often have a difficult time adjusting to a shared income living arrangement.

Earning inequality and financial irresponsibility are some of the worst money problems couples face.

Before walking the aisle together a couple should be open and honest about their financial situations. It wouldn't hurt to sit down with a financial planner or counselor and come up with a strategy for investing or saving your money.

Let your partner know if you have any debt and how you're working to pay it off. Come up with family guidelines for budgeting and spending money and agree to stick to them.

Sometimes before marriage couples are more apt to put their best foot forward. They don't show all of their annoying habits to their fiance. After marriage sometimes the facade starts to fade away. That's when things tend to get ugly.

She realizes she's married a man who can't seem to throw his dirty socks in the laundry hamper. He finds out he's married a woman who constantly grinds her teeth.

Or perhaps the hobby he loves, such as playing golf, can start to cause resentment. Or her constant desire to spend 45 minutes in front of the bathroom mirror every day gets old.

If everyone was exactly the same the world would be a boring place. Instead of trying to change your partner to be just like you, realize that you're being controlling and let them be who they are.

Remember there are things that drive them nuts about you, too. Work on taking care of your own annoying habits rather than focusing on theirs.

When a husband or wife constantly forgets to acknowledge special times like anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or their spouse's birthday many spouses can take it as a sign that their partner must not consider them very important.

They can feel like they're not appreciated and that they've been put on the back burner. In reality, the other person probably feels awful that they forgot, but either they're a naturally absent-minded person or they've allowed the busyness of life to distract them.

It may sound unnecessary, but many spouses really do benefit from being reminded that important dates are approaching on the calendar. With their permission you could go through on their smartphone calendar and mark special dates, setting reminders for them that will give them a heads up a few days in advance.

You could also casually ask them, "What do you want to do for our Anniversary on Tuesday?" Though it may seem more romantic to be surprised, reality sometimes isn't as flowery as our fantasies.

Better to remind your spouse of the date than to be hurt and resentful later!

If you went into marriage with unrealistic expectations of one thrill after another you may soon become disappointed when the mundane routine of life takes over. As responsibilities mount up those romantic dinners can get replaced with quick fast food runs on the way to your son's baseball game.

Over time boredom can result in distance and disillusionment.

If you feel like your marriage is starting to feel a bit stale and lifeless, it may be time to spice things up. Plan a romantic evening out or even a short getaway together. Go out of your way to give your spouse unexpected hugs, kisses, and compliments.

A little thoughtfulness in this area can go a long way to overcoming an apathetic phase of marriage.

Some couples end up spending every waking moment together. Though it sounds like fun at first, they often find that they start to get on one another's nerves.

Even if you're best friends with your spouse you can begin to feel smothered if you never have any time apart.

Develop some hobbies you each like to do alone or with a group of friends. Ladies, go out to lunch and shop with one of your girlfriends. Guys, find another guy and hang out together doing something you enjoy, like playing a certain sport.

If you're in a situation where you spend lots of time together, for example, both working from home, make a point of allowing each other alone time. You'll be more excited to see each other later because, as the old saying goes, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

If you have friends that run your spouse down or drain you financially or put you in a bad mood all the time, they could end up hurting your marriage.

Perhaps you have a friend that influences you to get involved in destructive habits.

If you have friends like this in your life chances are your spouse has already told you they don't want you hanging around with those people.

Chances are that you may have a blind spot to your friend's weaknesses and you may resent your spouse's dislike for them.

Try to listen to your husband or wife when they explain why they don't like your friend. If they can point out ways that this person is truly harmful to you or your marriage, you should seek to distance yourself from them.

On the other hand, if the discussion reveals that your spouse doesn't like your friend because of their own insecurity and clinginess, try to get your partner to see that they're being too controlling.

If you're the one who is overly critical of your spouse's friends try to remember that they need to have the freedom to enjoy other people's company besides yours.

Some people love to stay up late while others are morning people. If you're a night owl and your spouse wants to hit the hay at 8:00 pm, chances are you're going to experience some conflict.

The same is true for the person who bounds out of bed at 5:00 am only to find their spouse still sawing logs.

Many of our sleeping preferences have to do with inborn characteristics. We can no more choose them than we do our eye color. Having said that, marriage is all about compromise. If you're a night owl, down some extra coffee and go on that early morning walk with your spouse once in a while.

If you're a morning person, try to stay awake sometimes for that late-night movie with your partner. Most of the time, however, let the other person do what comes most naturally to them when it comes to sleep.

Some people are more selfish than others. It's just an unpleasant fact of life. In a relationship where one spouse is self-centered and the other spouse tends to be more unselfish, the unselfish partner often gets stuck with the lion's share of household chores being piled on them.

The result can be a sense of bitterness and resentment.

If you're starting to resent your spouse taking advantage of your hardworking nature, let them know how you feel in a gentle, calm manner. Explain how much it's stressing you out to have to take care of laundry, dishes, cleaning, yard work, etc.

Ask them if they could please take over some of these duties. If you're the one who has been selfish, apologize and do what you can to make things right in this important area of marital life.

When the pressures of life start to mount up spouses can start to snipe at one another over minor issues. Often these petty arguments are really a sign of some other underlying problem.

Maybe one spouse is facing extra pressure on the job and is taking out their frustrations at home. Or maybe one partner is dealing with a medical issue that's making them irritable.

In any case, homes can quickly turn into miserable prisons when spouses are constantly ready to bite one another's heads off over insignificant minutiae.

Learn to bite your tongue when the opportunity to criticize your spouse over something small arises. If you're dealing with a problem in your life that is causing you extra stress, explain to your partner what's going on.

#Don't use it as an excuse, just share it with them so they can possibly treat you with extra patience while you're going through this battle.

Try to make a habit of giving your spouse at least three compliments for every negative statement you make toward them.

One spouse may start to pick up on their partner flirting with another person or staring at other attractive people from time to time. This type of behavior can cause plenty of jealousy and hurt feelings. The person engaging in the questionable behavior may shrug it off as innocent fun and think their spouse is controlling and paranoid. But their spouse can start to feel as if they're inadequate and worthless.

If you're the one feeling resentful about your partner's wandering eyes or flirtatious overtures, point out their behavior in a calm way. Let them know exactly what they're doing that bothers you and why it bothers you.

Then ask them to please stop. If you're the one engaging in the behavior realize that while you may consider it harmless it's hurting the one you love.

What do you think? Is this an accurate list of problems couples face? How do you deal with this types of issues in your marriage? Let us know what you think! Pass this article along to anyone who may be struggling in marriage who could benefit from reading it.