10 Ways To Respond To Negative People

Dec 14, 2018 by apost team

Negative people can seriously rain on even the brightest parade. You feel fantastic and positive about something, and then negative Nelly comes by and zaps all the good energy out of you with the complaints, passive aggressiveness, degrading, and devaluing. Like a cosmic black hole, negative people try to pull you in and engulf anything bright around them.

So, what can you do to counteract this and avoid being swallowed up by the black hole of negativity?

To avoid and best respond to negative people, you first must be able to identify them. Sometimes, it’s blatantly obvious. Sometimes, it’s more covert.

Negativity can be like a gentle breeze slowly and subtly blowing you toward a different mindset by way of seemingly benign negative comments and actions. A coworker, for example, may constantly say with a smile and pat on the back how the person who held your job before you always had a better way of doing things, which in turn leaves you feeling negative about your own good work.

In other cases, negative people are more obviously identifiable. You’ll feel the negative vibe hit you like a ton of bricks. They’ll defame, belittle, demean, and attack you, your words, or your actions. They’ll make you feel tense, insecure, on edge, and unsafe. If they can’t find a way to spew their negativity directly your way, then they’ll attack the people, places, and things you care most about.

In either case, your sanity, health, and temper need to know how to handle these negative Nellys without resorting to negativity of your own. The Infinity Sign author Michael Bassey Johnson warns that negative people’s gibberish and debris can destroy your character, dreams, and even your reputation if you allow them. Allowing such to be live, yet discreet, gives the negative people no path of attack.

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You want to respect humanity, but still deal with the problem, and we all know that negative people thrive when your frustration and anger levels reach the point of equal reaction. Don’t give it to them. Doing so simply feeds their motivation of engulfing everything around them in negativity. Instead, use these healthy, constructive, and intelligent approaches:

When you don’t take it personally, the actions and words of negative people can’t hurt you. Easier said than done, right? Still, whenever you give a negative reaction to whatever negativity the person is trying to inflict upon you, they win. They’ve achieved their goal, and if they’re using covert negativity, then your outburst just makes you look like the bad guy.

Conflict avoidance means that you simply can’t stand conflict and do whatever you can to avoid it. If you’re this type of person, you’ll likely try to either rationalize the person’s behavior or reason with them to behave differently.

Neither works with a truly negative person. They don’t want to hear what you have to say, and they don’t care about your excuses for their behaviors. They want a negative reaction from you. The more you engage, the more apt they are to get it.

While some negative people are malicious in their motivations, others may simply not realize they’re acting negatively and bringing you down. In most cases, negativity has simply become their default mindset in handling relationships and conflicts.

Whether malicious or an unrealized auto pilot behavior, it’s important to be forthright about it not being tolerable and ensure your voice of positivity is heard in the fray. When you don't stand up for yourself, the negativity will continue.

Whether malicious or not, negativity at its core is an act of desperation and impulsiveness that stems from personal, professional, financial, mental health, or stress-related circumstances. Try to be as compassionate as possible as you’re still protecting your own well-being. 

Frequent exposure to negative behaviors can leave you completely exhausted, especially when you’re continually being exposed to behaviors and words that push you beyond your comfort zone.

One of the worst mistakes you can make is to try and ignore your own instincts and limits for the sake of avoiding conflict. Your repressed emotions are likely to eventually boil over. It may be necessary to distance yourself partially or completely from this person.

The whole eye-for-an-eye mindset is tempting when dealing with negativity, but you really should avoid allowing someone else’s negative, impulsive, counterproductive, and insulting behaviors create your own. Be mature, and avoid enabling and retribution.

Whether it be trauma and abuse or a childhood of growing up with their own negative peers or parents, some negative people may have a skewed point of view about the world around them. They’re jaded and fall back on self-preservation or learned negative behaviors to traverse life. In such cases, the negative person may just need the influence of someone, like you, with a different perspective.

Let them see you genuinely smile and approach things with a positive disposition. Lead by example.

Separate what’s within your control from that which you can’t control. You and those around you can benefit greatly from maintaining a consistent environment that moots negativity and reinforces positivity. You’ll be protecting yourself while also utilizing the tools and controllable elements to encourage others to follow suit.

You never know what’s led a person to their negative outlook. As you go about trying to address the negativity, don’t be presumptive or judgmental toward to person. Focus on the negative behaviors and results, not personal attacks and assumptions.

You’ll need a realistic point of view to be an influencer. Being optimistic often spurs you to be accommodating when it comes to the more negative and pessimistic people. You’ve likely seen how your positive outlook on life can encourage others to follow suit, but you should also be a realist.

Recognize when someone doesn’t want to better themselves, and be aware of when you’ve changed from a position of influence to being influenced. If the latter happens, consider distancing yourself for self-preservation and to be in the right mindset to continue being an influencer for other more receptive people.

Do you frequently deal with negative people? Which of the 10 approaches do you plan to use? If you found this information helpful and know someone else dealing with negative people, then pass it along.