Two lines = pregnant.
There they were, staring back at me, two blue lines from the pregnancy test I just bought from the store. I double, triple, and quadruple checked. I was definitely pregnant and my heart was pounding a mile a minute. I was so excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time!
After years of dreaming of this day, it’s finally here. All the anticipation and preparation has all led up to this moment. In nine short months I would begin the most life-changing journey of my entire life. In nine months I will know exactly what it takes to be a mother, or so I thought. In nine months I will gain a whole new perspective and understanding of what it means to be called “mom”. I would learn about the price of motherhood firsthand and learn all the things that mothers experience that their children know very little about.
Here are 10 things your mom never told you:
1. You were the cause of so many tears.
She cried the moment she found out she was going to have you, and nine months later she cried when she was in labor. She cried of happiness when she first held you in her arms and she cried with worry because she wanted you to always be safe. She cried because she feels your feelings so deeply and shares your pain and your happiness, whether you realized it or not.
2. She wanted that last bite of food.
But when she saw you glance at it with those big bright eyes and could tell how much you wanted it, she just couldn’t bring herself to eat it. She knew it would make her much happier to fill your little tummy as full as it could be.
3. You hurt her.
When you grabbed her with those sharp couldn't-be-trimmed fingernails, and when you pulled her hair and her earrings. When you accidentally bit her while drinking milk, that hurt her more than you could’ve imagined. You stretched her tummy for nine months and bruised her when you kicked. You made her body contract in unbearable pain as you entered this world, and many times thereafter.
4. She was always scared.
From the moment she found out you were coming into this world, she did everything in her power to protect you. She was that mom who cringed when that unreliable little girl next door wanted to hold you, and sometimes even said no. In her mind no one could keep you as safe as she could. She was your mama bear, after all. Her heart skipped two beats with your first steps, fearful of that first fall. She stayed up way past her bedtime to make sure you got home safe, and woke up early to get you ready for school. With every little trip or stumble, she was always nearby. With every nightmare or fever, she was there to keep you safe and healthy.
5. She is her own worst critic.
She knows all of her flaws and knows she’s not perfect. Though, she's hardest on herself when it comes to you. She always wants to be the gold-star mom, the perfect mom, but because she’s human she made mistakes. She wishes she had a time machine to redo all the things she wishes she didn’t. She’s still to this day trying to forgive herself, so reassure her and tell her she did the absolute best she knew how to at the time.
6. She watched you at your most peaceful state.
There were nights when she could hardly keep her eyes open, her arms and legs were achey and she was begging you to fall asleep. She would be up until 3:00 a.m. singing your lullabies until you finally drifted off. Then, when she would lay you down, all the sleep deprivation would wash away, she’d look at your tiny face, and her heart was filled with love.
7. Nine months isn’t even close to the amount of time she actually carried you.
You needed her and she was always there. She learned to hold you when she was doing household chores, she held you while she ate, she even held you while she took a nap. Sometimes the only way she could do any of those things was if she held you close because that’s what you wanted. Her arms would get tired, her back would ache, but she still snuggled you, held you close, and loved you more than anything else. She kissed you, played with you, gave you all she could because you wanted to be near her. You felt happy and safe in her arms, you could feel the love radiating from her body, so she held you as often and as long as you needed.
8. Every time you cried, it broke her hear.t
There was no sight as horrible as the tears gliding down your beautiful face, no sound as sad as your loud cries. She did everything she could to comfort you and make you happy. But when she couldn’t stop your tears, her heart would shatter and she felt empty.
9. She always put you first.
She would spend all day catering to your every need, and by the end of the day, she would have zero energy left to herself or anyone else. She went without sleep, proper meals, and showers for sometimes days. She didn’t mind, though because the next day she’d do it all over again because you meant that much to her at all times.
10. She would absolutely do it all again.
Being a mom will take you to your very limits and is one of the most difficult roles anyone can play. You prepare yourself for the worst, but it’s hard to imagine how hard it actually is. You cry, you fail, you hurt, you make mistakes, and you work so incredibly hard. Despite all the grief, late night and early mornings you put your mom through, she would do it all again for you without any hesitation. You are worth the world to her, and no task is too big or difficult to handle.
So next time you see your loving mom, tell her thank you and that you love her. She can never, ever hear it too many times.