Parent Gives Meat And Dairy To Daughter’s Friend Despite Her Family Being Vegan, Asks If Their Actions Are Justified

Nov 24, 2021

Choosing what to feed your child is an important responsibility as a parent and a decision that should be respected by others. One parent completely disregarded their child’s friend’s diet restrictions because they did not agree with her mom and dad’s choice to stick to a vegan diet. The parent shared on Reddit that they would purposely cook meals with meat in them when she was sleeping over because they thought the girl, called M, looked malnourished.

The parent opened up on Reddit about this secret because they wanted to know if they were doing something wrong. They said that when M comes over they make burgers, steak and drink a lot of milk and the girl seems to love it and asks for more. The parent said her daughter and M are both 12. 

Some users on Reddit thought that 12 is old enough for a child to decide what they want to eat, while others thought that it is wrong regardless and M’s parents should be notified if she looks malnourished. The situation doesn’t seem as cut and dry because M knows that she is eating meat and has not asked for anything else. The parent also said that M would be in trouble if her mom and dad found out so they do not know she is eating meat. 

Many users on Reddit were also concerned that M would have a hard time digesting meat and dairy products and could get sick from the food. The parent did not mention anything about this happening and instead suggested that M looked healthier after eating the meat-filled meals. Keep reading to learn more about this ethical dilemma. 

In the post on Reddit, the parent explained: "M absolutely loves it and always politely asks for more (which I happily provide). For snacks, I give them some of my venison jerky. For breakfast, I typically make a big plate of scrambled eggs and bacon again with a big glass of milk. Despite her size, M always wolfs down whatever I make. And I have to say every time she leaves it looks like she has a healthy glow to her."

The parent admitted that they might be doing something wrong, however they justified it by citing health concerns. "I know I probably shouldn't be doing this but I think M is a bit malnourished (nothing against vegans or anything). She knows she'll get in big trouble if she tells her folks. (I think she fibs a bit to her parents about what she eats)," they wrote. 

At another point of their post, they also stated that "M is bright young girl and she's a good friend to my daughter but I noticed how much smaller and paler she is compared to my daughter. I think it's likely tied to her family's diet."

The parent's words make it very clear their behavior seems to come from an assumed health problem. Without knowing M and her situation completely, we can't accurately judge whether a health problem exists, but it is important to keep in mind that a healthy vegan or vegetarian diet is absolutely possible. M's smaller stature and her paleness could just as likely be a case of genetics or something completely unrelated.

Fellow Reddit users were quick to point these things out to the original poster as well.

One commenter said, "You are not her doctor. This isn't your choice to make. Undermining her parents' dietary choices is going to do more harm than good for her."

They added, "To jump from a strict plant-based diet to one heavy with dairy and meat and then to go right back to strict plant-based, that shocks the body so to speak. If you're concerned about her health, talk to her parents." 

Others were quick to point out that even if her health were in fact suffering, the responsible thing would be to talk to her parents about it instead of feeding her meat every now and then: "If OP genuinely thinks the child is malnourished they should be reporting it to CPS. Once meal every once in a while is not going to fix chronic malnourishment. And if they aren't going to contact CPS I don't think their actions are truly out of concern for the child."

However, not everyone thought this was wrong. Others agreed that M is old enough to choose for herself. Another person wrote, "Without giving a judgment, I would suggest that at 12 years old she is old enough to decide her own diet and whether she wants to be a vegan or not. If she wants to eat meat, I don't see an issue with it. If it's being forced on her, huge issue."

Overall, the commenters sided against the anonymous parent for a multitude of different reasons.

Do you think feeding a vegan child meat is wrong? What would you do in this situation? Let us know your opinion and feel free to pass this on to your friends and family.