Nicole Kidman Says Divorcing Tom Cruise Was A ‘Shock’ To Her ‘System’

May 05, 2022

It's been 20 years since Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise divorced, and their lives have certainly changed a lot since then, but people are still intrigued by what really led the couple to separate in the first place. The pair first met in late 1989 prior to filming "Days of Thunder." Both Kidman and Cruise starred in the film together and even played love interests before taking their romance off-screen. They tied the knot on Dec. 24, 1990, and later welcomed two adopted children: Isabella, who was born in 1992, and Connor, who was born in 1995.

Kidman and Cruise's relationship was the talk of the town and easily garnered plenty of media attention. The two actors were together for more than a decade when they painfully announced that they were splitting up. It came as a shock to the world, and it left Kidman reeling with her heartbroken feelings.

Although the pair didn't last together, they both went on to marry other people. Kidman has been happily married to country singer Keith Urban since June 2006. Cruise's relationship history unfortunately has had a few more bumps in the road, as his marriage to Katie Holmes lasted from 2006 until 2012, leading to yet another public divorce.

Although it has been two decades since Kidman and Cruise were romantically linked, people can't help but wonder what really went down in their relationship. In September 2021, Kidman shared some new details about her marriage and heartbreaking divorce with Cruise, finally giving fans the answers they had been longing for.

Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman (2000), (Steve.Granitz/WireImage/Getty Images)

Their Careers And Relationships

Born on June 20, 1967 in Honolulu, Hawaii, Kidman is an Australian actress and producer. She has starred in a number of films in various film genres, including the movie-musical "Moulin Rouge!" in 2001 and the psychological horror film "The Others" in 2001. Some of her more recent works include the 2020 musical comedy film "The Prom" and the 2021 miniseries "Nine Perfect Strangers," which she both starred in and produced.

Prior to meeting Kidman, Cruise was already a well-known actor. Born on July 3, 1962 in Syracuse, New York, the actor first shot to fame in the 1980s. His claim to fame came from leading roles in the 1983 comedy "Risky Business" and the 1986 action drama film "Top Gun." Cruise began receiving critical acclaim by the end of the decade, and it seemed like he was on the right track to a long-lasting career, especially after landing the leading role in the "Mission Impossible" series. 

However, Cruise has been the face of a few scandals over the years, dealing with three public divorces with Mimi Rogers, Kidman and Holmes. He also showcased some unusual behavior in the news. Nonetheless, he has continued to find work as an actor, with the latest installments of the "Top Gun" and "Mission Impossible" series coming out in 2022.

After just over 10 years of marriage, Kidman and Cruise decided to call it quits. E! reported that the former couple's representative announced their "amicable separation" in February 2001, with Cruise filing the divorce papers just two days after the announcement. It was stated that "the difficulties in divergent careers which constantly kept them apart" was the cause behind their marriage ending.

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Nicole Kidman, Sunday Rose Kidman Urban, Faith Margaret Kidman Urban (2019), (Jose Perez/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images/Getty Images)

Her Motherly Purpose

During her marriage to Cruise, Kidman described it as "perfect," according to The West. However, that perfection didn't seem to last, as their marriage unraveled and resulted in divorce. 

Over the years, Kidman has opened up more about some of the issues within their relationship, and also about just how devastating it was to go through such a public divorce and endure such a tough heartbreak. She said:

"It took me a very long time to heal. It was a shock to my system."

While ending the marriage was difficult, understanding that they would have to continue to be in each other's lives as co-parents was something that both Kidman and Cruise had to do. "From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies," Kidman told USA Today. "And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic." 

The couple went on to adopt two children: Connor, who was born on Jan. 17, 1995, and Isabella, who was born on Dec. 22, 1992. As pivotal figures in the entertainment industry, Kidman and Cruise were used to being in the spotlight but did their best to keep their kids out of it and give them a relatively normal upbringing.

Speaking with WHO in 2019, Kidman said, "I'm very private about (them)." She continued, "I have to protect those relationships, I know 150% that I would give up my life for my children because it's what my purpose is. They are adults. They are able to make their own decisions."

Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise (1992), (Vinnie Zuffante/Getty Images)

Moving On From Heartbreak

In 2001, Kidman opened up a bit more about her divorce. "I think that divorce is hard for anyone," she said. "It's a nightmare, it just is, and you can pretend you're fine. And days you're great (and) days you're not great."

Speaking with Harper's Bazaar in September 2021, the actress opened up about her failed marriage with Cruise and what it was like having her divorce so prevalent in the public eye. "I was young," Kidman said. "I think I offered it up? Maybe I've gotten a bit more trepidatious, but I'm always trying to be as open as possible. I just prefer to live in the world that way."

Kidman continued, "I'm wary at times, and I've been hurt, but at the same time I much prefer a warm approach rather than a prickly shutdown approach." Speaking about Urban, her husband of 15 years, the actress said, "My husband, Keith, says that when he met me, he said, 'How's your heart?' And I apparently responded, 'Open.'"

However, Kidman never could have predicted that their relationship would work out and last so long. "He actually wasn't that interested in me at the time, which he now says is not true; he was just sort of intimidated," she explained. Fortunately, the couple is still happily going strong and has even welcomed two daughters together named Sunday and Faith.

Although Kidman and Cruise didn't last, and they've each had their fair share of ups and downs in their personal lives, it seems like they're both doing well in their careers and both have a bright future ahead.

Nicole Kidman (2020), (Amy Sussman/Getty Images) Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban (2019), (Taylor Hill/Getty Images)

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