Man Thinks Brother's Girlfriend Is 'Creepy' For Keeping Her Late Husband's Ashes

May 17, 2022

Losing a loved one is never easy. As people work through the grieving process, it's common to reflect on all of the amazing times they were able to share together. This could mean watching silly home movies, looking through endless photographs, or playing your loved one's favorite songs.

However, this process can sometimes be hard for outsiders to understand. A 23-year-old man went to Reddit in February 2022 to explain a difficult experience he had when he went to visit his brother and his girlfriend. The couple had been dating for some time and had recently just moved in together. It seemed like everything was going pretty well until the original poster (OP) decided to bring up something that his brother's girlfriend was keeping at their now-shared house.

The woman is a widow, and she has an urn of her late husband's ashes. This was bizarre to OP, especially since she had a new boyfriend and was even living with said boyfriend. OP decided to bring this up at dinner and point out that it seemed weird that she would keep something of her ex-partner's in a home that she is now sharing with her current partner. Clearly upset, the woman did her best to defend herself but eventually took a step away from the dinner table and stayed in the kitchen for the remainder of dinner.

An argument between the boyfriend and his family broke out, and the OP has since wondered if he overstepped. He turned to Redditors for advice and was met with plenty of opinionated comments.

In his Reddit post, OP explained a pretty eventful night he had while visiting his brother and his brother's girlfriend's house for the first time. "We were all sitting at dinner and I remembered when my brother's girlfriend, who's a widow, saying that she keeps an urn of her late husband's ashes in the house," OP said.

As the conversation changed from one talking point to another, OP decided to ask his brother how he felt about his girlfriend keeping the urn at their now-shared home. "He gave me a long stare so I figured the answer was yes but maybe he couldn't tell his girlfriend about it fearing she'd misunderstand maybe," OP explained.

So, OP told the woman that he found it "quite weird" to have an urn with her late husband's ashes in the house. OP explained:

"She said that she didn't think so and that it wasn't like the urn was on display, also said this is her late husband's house and where the urn should be. I told her it felt weird especially since she just had my brother move in with her and he must be feeling uncomfortable with the idea."

His brother chimed in and shouted at OP to stop and mind his own business, but OP kept going. He said, "I responded with, 'I mean personally I wouldn't be cool with my girl keeping an urn of her ex within close approximate, at best it'd make me feel uncomfortable, at worst it'd make me feel creeped out." It was a tense situation, and OP's brother's girlfriend excused herself to the kitchen and stayed there for the rest of the night. 

OP's brother was furious with OP, but the 23-year-old said he was just giving his opinion. OP continued, "My parents and I left and they told me my brother's girlfriend was being hypersensitive, but I too went too far and upset my brother and probably sparked an argument between them and I should reach (out) to apologize but I'm not sure."

Plenty of Redditors left their opinions in the comment section and let OP know that he was definitely in the wrong in this scenario. One user commented, "News flash dude. You are not always entitled to your opinion. This is none of your business whatsoever."

Another user said:

 "It's not her 'ex.' She didn't dump him. He didn't leave her. He was her husband and he died. That love doesn't just disappear. You don't just erase all memory of a loving marriage. Who else should have his ashes but his wife? Why would you even think to question her or pass comment on this? Do you have no social skills or empathy at all?"

OP updated his post to try to defend himself. "One thing you should know is that I had no intentions of being hurtful," he said. He explained that he actually even gets along pretty well with his brother's girlfriend. "I overheard my brother venting about the urn when he first moved in just so you know," OP added.

Still, it seemed like it was too late to change anyone's mind, and Redditors have continued to leave comments hoping that OP will rethink his actions.

What do you think about this man's comments toward his brother's girlfriend? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family and friends as well.