In Our Lifetime We Only Fall In Love With 3 People (Each One For A Specific Reason)

Jul 22, 2018

There are some people who just seem to find love in every place that they look. They declare that they have found “the one” with each and every person they develop a relationship even if it is only in the first stages of romance. Then, the novelty of a new romance quickly wears off for them, and they declare that their “one true love” is not anywhere to be found and that the idea of a soulmate is just that—a silly idea that has no basis in reality. There are others for whom love has the opposite effect and they just can’t seem to find an emotional connection to anyone. Then out of the blue, it happens: they are thunderstruck by someone who just melts their heart.

They put everything into the relationship and it is reciprocated, and they both live together happily ever after. But, if they give their all to that person and their love is not reciprocated, they usually swear off love forever, having taken one chance at it and got burned.

Many people in the world actually hold onto the idea of finding that one true love or “soulmate”. The idea of searching the world to find that specific someone whose fate it is to be with you seems to give people the hope they are looking for in the idea of love.

In reality, we are really only given three chances to get love right in our lifetimes, so if we can work through these types of relationships, then we can eventually know when true love actually happens to us.

This is the love that sticks with you for the rest of your life. It is the first time we feel the butterflies in our stomach when we see that first special someone. It usually happens when we are very young, so it is the most emotionally intense love we will probably experience. There is also a vast amount of insecurity as to what we should do with all the new feelings we are experiencing, so usually, we make more than few missteps when it comes to dealing with our emotions and how they affect this new love in our life. What this first love educates us on is just how love feels. More often than not, these experiences with young, new love don’t last, but we carry the feeling of it for years to come and try to recreate it for a long time. If it ended badly, it can set the course of relationships for many years to come with a great deal of hesitation on our part to engage in another serious commitment to someone who we think will eventually break our heart.

We carry that feeling of total loyalty to one another from the beginning of the relationship through the stage where each person became to mature and grow in separate directions as this kind of love often does, and then the absolute bliss over the love union begins to fade. It is this first love that sets the pattern for how we approach our next love relationship. And even though we may never see our first love again, we always remember them.

As the first love begins to fade from memory, we are usually firmly in the throes of early adulthood where there is a shift in priorities to achieving career goals and dealing with a multitude of adult responsibilities for the first time. This new journey usually puts us in a frame of mind of finding someone who can help us through the insecurities of this time, and even having a shoulder to cry on or build us up when we need it.

This lends itself to finding a less superficial relationship that isn’t dominated by sexual attraction and desires, but something that is more solidly based in having a more emotional connection to the individual on a much more mature level than before. When it happens, it works for while as you both wade through the same types of life experiences and help each other to circumvent through them, but then something happens when those experiences become comfortable and not so scary anymore.

This is when you begin to outgrow your second love and you realize that the connection you had with the person at first has simply been overcome with other experiences and responsibilities that you can mostly handle on your own. It almost begins to feel like the relationship begins to hold you back from exploring other goals and opportunities that you have set out as you get to know yourself even more. So, you work through the pros and cons of this second love and you begin to understand what a relationship actually means and how it defines you as an individual. This means you begin to understand how to make compromises to make a relationship work, or you make that tougher decision to be realistic about what isn’t working between both of you and what you expect from one another and maturely and quietly move on with your separate lives and wish each other well.

With the euphoria of the first love through the pragmatism of the second love, we come to see the third love as our best chance to get it right. We have had enough successes and failures in our life at this point to have learned quite a bit about ourselves—our shortcomings as well as our strengths—so we are pretty honest with ourselves going into this third love about what we have to offer someone and what we need from another individual to compliment us and make us happy.

We also for the first time have realistic expectations about another person. We understand that the absolute feeling of giddiness that comes with a first love is not there for long, and when, like the second love, the reality of life sets in, that is when you really need to love as well as like the person. This is when a third love begins with the foundational building blocks of a true love. Now, when the rigors of daily life throw curve balls at you, there is someone there who has the maturity and security in themselves to listen to your insecurities and help you through them as you also now have the maturity to do for them without judgment.

So, the foundation that you set forth at the beginning of this third love grow higher and stronger with each and every year you are together because for the first time in your life, you have taken what you have learned from previous love relationships and found clarity in the experiences and used those to understand the type of person that you want in your life as opposed to what you think you need without relying on fate to find your true love.

If you experienced any of these stages of true love and have a unique perspective on what you learned from it, then tell us your story.