Here Are Common Signs That A Narcissist Is Manipulating You

Jun 12, 2019

Narcissists are all around us. They are bosses, coworkers, and family members. At first, they’ll seem charming and super confident. They’ll get you to lower your guard and do them small favors. The things they get you to do will slowly become more and more like bullying. While you are doing them favors, the narcissist will train you to begin doubting yourself. Then, they will isolate you from what makes you unique.

At some point their ego was damaged, so they protect it at all costs. Threats to their ego are treated as threats to their survival. This makes them lust for attention. This makes them different from a psychopath since a psychopath doesn’t care what others think according to the Atlantic. When a narcissist has you in their clutches, you’ll need a list of the red flags to look out for. Be warned that some people have a few of these traits that Thought Catalog has reported on. But, if someone has more than five of these traits, you should leave while you can. 

• 1. You are writing things down before they can spin it: Give them an inch, and they take a mile. Often they put all blame on everyone else while claiming to be perfect. They often paint compelling stories that are without facts. It may even get so bad that you've found yourself recording what happened. If this becomes a pattern, it’s a sign you’re being played.
• 2. They expect you to say sorry for everything: The narcissist hates the idea of their own shortcomings like a vampire hates garlic. They just expect everyone else to change.
• 3. You walk on eggshells around them: Tiny things seem to set them off. Perhaps it is a certain type of clothing, or maybe it is a certain habit of yours. It might begin to feel like they are cutting off bits of what makes you different. The reason they do this is to box you into a corner. It protects their ego by making you afraid of getting their negative attention, reports Psych Central.

• 4. You can never guess what they’ll do next: A narcissist may do anything they want. At first, you may have seen this as being bold and confident. It may seem like they do things just see what buttons they can push. The point of this is so that they can test the waters for getting attention. If they keep you in suspended fear, then you’ll have to keep your eyes on the narcissist. Psychology Today says it's because they are boundary violators.
• 5. You feel drained and hopeless around them: Once they someone’s wrapped up in their games, they will begin to show their cold side. They do this to deprive you of empathy. The goal is for them to make you do them favors just to spend time with them.

• 6. The silent treatment: You may find yourself wondering what is wrong this time. At any rate, they are not talking until you fix it. This is their way of forcing you to earn their love.
• 7. They stretch their accomplishments: Everything a narcissist does must be the biggest and best ever. Even if something fails, they expect to never be criticized for it.
• 8. You just wish things were like they used to be: They lavished you with the most intense affection you ever felt at first. Then, they became more distant. Nothing you do seems to impress them and they expect you to do almost everything for them. Bit by bit, things kept fading to where they are now. Now everything is a fight over petty things. It is hard to breathe or hear yourself think.

• 9. Your relationship was so toxic you had to research it: Things started off well. But now you can’t deny that things aren’t right. A bit of digging has led you to articles like this. Maybe it’s hitting a little too close to home.
• 10. You no longer feel as attractive: It is almost as if you’ve been chiseled down to nothing. Your self-esteem seems to have vanished. Constantly being told to be ashamed of yourself tends to do that.
• 11. Things don’t excite you like they used to: You doubt why you ever used to like certain food and activities. Now, they just represent another way to be put down and ridiculed.

• 12. You don’t feel understood: Your partner or boss is sarcastic and cold to you. Even if you do something perfectly it is never enough. The constant undercutting has caused you to socially withdraw. It feels like there is no point since you feel worthless. You feel like sharing your inner thoughts and hopes is futile excise.
• 13. You are so on edge you forget everything: You quest to make sure everything is perfect for the narcissist has made it impossible to remember anything. Long nights have been spent wringing your hands over what could go wrong. As a result, your memory isn’t as sharp as it used to be.
• 14. You are constantly feeling defensive: The never ending drama has caused you to nearly snap. You might be reflexively telling others not to do things that will make the narcissist unhappy.

• 15. It’s hard to recognize yourself: Maybe you had lots of passions and energy. The lack of praise is really getting to your sense of self, so all your enthusiasm is gone. You’ve found yourself doing things just because the narcissist demands it that way.
• 16. You dread seeing them again: Maybe it is at home or work. You just hate the idea of going there again. But, you feel obligated for some nagging reason. This is more than a dislike. It feels like your soul is being siphoned off by the narcissist.

• 17. They are spreading rumors about you: Maybe a friend has asked if it is true that you did something outrageous. Or maybe people are distancing themselves from you like you’re a psycho. All you knew was it was hard to figure out at first. The truth emerged, and you found out that your coworker or your partner was isolating you. This is one of the surest signs you are being abused. Many call this tactic “divide and conquer," or "triangulation."
• 18. They borrow things without giving them back: A narcissistic person disregards others and their feelings that they won't even think twice about taking your stuff and not returning it, Medium reports.

Don't hesitate to leave a situation where someone is using these dirty tricks on you. If a narcissist doesn't get their dose of self-importance, they will have to move on. If you have any other warning signs based on your experiences, let us know in the comments and be sure to spread the word about this article – it could help someone!