Boyfriend Accuses Girlfriend Of Taking Too Long To Get Ready, She Retaliates By Stopping Grooming Altogether

Aug 27, 2021

Being in a relationship isn't always easy. Even if you love your partner with all your heart, differences of opinion or different habits might cause friction and arguments. Often, these arguments are small and smoothed over soon. But in some cases, an argument can fester over weeks and finally lead to a big debate or fight. This is especially true for arguments that include very personal habits such as grooming.

In a post from 2019, a man took to Reddit to share his story of one such argument between him, 26 years old, and his girlfriend, 24 years old. He wanted to know whether he had acted correctly and asked for the commentator's opinions on the matter. More accurately, the problem was his girlfriend's grooming habits: the time she spent in the bathroom to get ready every day. The anonymous poster felt it was taking her too long, as she was regularly clocking in one to two hours. He explained that at first, he was only playfully teasing her every now and then. However, as he kept up this habit over a period of months, his girlfriend started to get irritated.

Eventually, after several months' worth of teasing over her long primping time, the girlfriend had finally had enough. Fed up, she explained that if he didn't want her to spend so much time on her beauty routine, she would stop. And so she did. Unfortunately, she not only stopped things like putting on complicated makeup, plucking her eyebrows, or shaving her legs. She also decided to forego brushing her hair or using makeup at all.

The young man explained how she had entirely stopped her personal grooming routine:

"She said she won't do anything anymore, and true to her word she hasn't shaved, waxed, or put on makeup since then, and wears her hair looking like bedhead."

Confronted with this, the boyfriend asked her to please pick up her routine again: "I told her that I got her point and would appreciate it if she resumed doing things that I also do to stay presentable."

The girlfriend followed his wish, and her hair was styled again. However, she did not pick up her old habits regarding shaving her legs, armpits, or wearing elaborate makeup. And when the boyfriend asked her to please start doing all those things again, she demanded money from him: "Now she's saying I have to pay her to resume taking care of herself, which I find crazy as I'm not her sugar daddy."

He then asked Reddit users for their opinion. And the majority of them agreed that he was in the wrong to ask her to continue her routine if she didn't want to follow it anymore.

One commentator wrote: "Honestly, I think more people would be more comfortable with girls wearing less makeup/ having more body hair if it was more common. It's natural. I believe anyone has the right to do whatever they want with their body, and if you are going to pressure someone to do something else, then you should be paying half (if not all) of the cost."

Another added: "He also expects her to do things that are painful for her, such as a bikini wax. I am a guy, and I know some people have strong preferences, but I find when you love someone their little imperfections don't seem as unappealing."

Other commentators showed more compassion, stating that they understand the girlfriend's changed habits are a big difference to her previous behavior. However, they also pointed out that this did not give him the right to dictate to her what she should be doing:

"this is a change in the relationship 'normal' so this is complicated. It's fine to have preferences. However, it's not OK to force other people to cater to your preferences."

In an update to the original post, the girlfriend chimed in with her own view of what had happened. She explained that she has very curly hair that takes ages to straighten and that her old beauty routine included a lot of things that were expensive as well as time-consuming:

"I quit things he didn't even realize I was doing. No makeup, no shaving/waxing, no brows, no waxing those moustache hairs, I have curly frizzy hair so I stopped using product or straightening/curling with an iron, no mani/pedi, no touching up or redoing my highlights."

She also explained why she no longer felt like picking up her old habits, now that she has stopped them:

"He rightfully pointed out that he takes care of himself for me (by shaving his beard and cutting his hair), so I obligingly waxed my upper lip and got a haircut. I'm continuing to do this whole thing because 1) it's so much less effort for me, 2) it's way cheaper, and 3) now that I stopped, I feel like... why do I ever have to do all this shit. It's unfair."

What are your opinions on this small feud over grooming habits? How would you have reacted? Tell us your thoughts and pass this story along!