Aunt Excludes Adult Nephew From Her Wedding Because His Disability Makes Him 'Childish'

Oct 12, 2021

Getting married is a huge step in a couple’s relationship, so it makes sense that they want their wedding to be as perfect as possible. A decision that many couples make is choosing to have a childfree wedding. It could be because the happy couple doesn’t want a bunch of young, screaming children to run around freely while making a scene or that they simply want to find an efficient way to cut back on their own guest list.

Most people agree that age is the biggest factor to take into consideration when deciding who is a child and who isn’t. Typically, if you’re 18 years old or older, you’re considered an adult. However, when mom was invited to her sister’s wedding, she was surprised to find out that her son wasn’t invited. Even though the wedding was childfree, the mom assumed her 18-year-old son would still be invited since, in any other circumstance, he most likely would be considered an adult.

When the mom learned the real reason why her son wasn’t invited to her sister’s wedding, she was completely shocked. Her sister claimed that because of his disability, people might confuse his looks and behavior as that of a child, meaning that her other guests would get upset knowing that a child was, in fact, invited to the wedding after all. The mom was astounded at her sister’s reasoning and went to Reddit on Oct. 6, 2021, to share her story and seek advice. Although she has since deleted the post, many people still commented with their take on the heartbreaking situation.

In the now-deleted Reddit post, the mom explained that she is a foster mother to a disabled 18-year-old son. She and her husband first adopted him when he was 4, and his biological parents are not in the picture. He became wheelchair-bound at the age of 16 after an incident with a drunk driver. “We love him, he’s the light of our life, we give him all the care and appreciation he deserves,” the mom said.

The mom talked about how much her family loves her son and has always made him feel welcomed until she received an invitation to her sister’s wedding at the end of October. The invitation stated that her son was not allowed to attend the wedding since it is childfree. “I was shocked but mostly upset,” the mom said. She couldn’t believe that her 18-year-old son was being considered a child, so she called her sister. The mom continued, “She apologized saying due to his health and slow growth she’s worried the guests would see him and assume he’s 15 at max.”

Even though the mom offered to bring her son’s ID to prove his age, her sister still said that he wasn’t invited because “she didn’t want to deal with angry guests assuming she’s favoring her family by letting kids attend.” The son cried once he found out he wasn’t invited, so his parents made a reservation to go to the national park in their area and have a tour of the park on the same day as his aunt’s wedding.

Once the aunt found out about the family’s plans, she was shocked, but the mom explained that she wasn’t doing anything wrong. “I said I was respecting the rules by not attending altogether instead of bringing my son,” she explained. Even though she was called petty and told to cancel the reservation by her other family members so she could attend the wedding, the mom stood by her decision and stood up for her son.

Reddit users were on the mom’s side, too, and left several comments showing their support for her. One user commented, “Sorry to be that guy, but your sister doesn’t want your disabled son at the wedding and it has nothing to do with it being a child free wedding….” Another user agreed, saying, “It’s her wedding, who she invites is not (her guests’) business. If she wanted him to be there, then she wouldn’t care about anyone else’s reaction.”

A third user called the sister’s excuse a “cop-out,” and said, “Guests will see a disabled person (even if he looks young) and understand.” Other Reddit users also chimed in to call out the sister’s excuse as it was clear that she didn’t want the attention taken away from her. 

Another user said, “It doesn’t take a genius to see right through that transparent ableism... If anyone asks why you’re not in your sister’s wedding pictures, simply say ‘it’s for childish reasons.’” What the sister’s reason was behind excluding her nephew from her wedding, it was clear that no one was happy with her decision.

What do you think about this woman’s choice to exclude her nephew from her wedding? Do you think the boy’s mom is right to plan on skipping the wedding? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your friends and family, too.